soon

I'm counting down the days i have left to go online freely again.

This Sunday... Night... in Malaysia. Get ready for an explosive entry packed with photos, stories, and how my survived UK for 2 months. Come online, if you wana chat... I'm back!!!

Happy 2 months monthlyversary in UK to me.

Good Ol' England

Even my mom is calling me up to tell me that my blog is awfully depressed. Well, I am, kinda, sometimes. Only when I'm with the ang mohs. I shall try to be happier this post then.

Ah mee, don't scold me please. Uncle Sugar insisted on giving us both a parting gift, gave us 100 pounds to spend on a good thick jacket. Sigh, we had to give face. So he bought us both a double breasted jacket each. Perfect for autumn! I chose a purple one going for only £20 at H&M. That's a great deal! And I managed to get a size 8 one too! We spent a little to make him happy, but not too much lah. I still feel kinda guilty though.

If there's one thing I'm impressed by the British is the extent of efforts commited to recycling, nearly everything. 90% of the time, they wont ask for plastic bag. They would all use a shopping bag. We could use some of that enviromental conscience. I'm gonna me one too! Soon. When I don't feel as stingy.

british intelligence

Hiya, it's me again. Boy oh boy, my blog is so pictureless now, I feel bored my self. Nevertheless it's still my only vent.

If only idiotic customers are my vents. Muahahahaha.... They become a pool of melted gooey butter... that I'll scoop up, then incinerate them into pure black carbon. My evil thoughts go wild these days.

The people here, they have no idea how bloody pampered they are. They would make a huge f*cking fuss, insisting to have caplets, instead of tablets, of the SAME drug, mind you. WTF right? I can't swallow the tablets they say. FYI, caplets are tablets, shaped like a capsule. You still gotta swallow it for goodness sake. If you refuse to swallow, then wait to die la. Fussy betul.

What's a little sacrifice if it can save your life?

Another thing. Oh gosh, this is going to come out sounding absolutely harsh and cruel. But I swear I mean it in a logical way.

You know the whole point of evolution and extinction, is the survival of the fittest by eliminating weaker competition right? If a mutant species cannot cope with its environment, it will just die off, so resources would be saved for the fitter species, that has a better chance of survival and reproduction. Simple logic ya?

It's not that I have no heart, but seriously, the number of diabetics, and other medical conditions which requires lifelong medical aids, are way too much. This abnormal gene, is draining the government of precious resources, giving chances to opportunistic, and money minded manufacturers, and well, dragging evolution down. Logically, they are a burden to man kind, no? But it is out of the kindness of our hearts, knowing that they cannot choose their fate and that they also deserve a normal life, we help them however we can. Sigh. When you think about it? Why would a mother be cruel enough to produce a child, a poor child to be born with such genetic defect, to a world where he has to be reliable to lifelong medical aids, in other words, to suffer?

I'm doubting if we're doing the right thing.
Food for thought.

nearing the end

As I received my payslip today, it suddenly dawned on me that I will only be receiving 2 more after this. The feeling sucks. BIG TIME. No more 250 pounds a week for asking questions. I've just got my poster printed. Miserable piece of work I might add, that's 4am work for you.

Sigh. This week will be an absolute pain. It already is, with that horrible ache on my lower back. It's that wretched bed, and ridiculously pampered british customers. Some are too fussy and stupid beyond comprehension. I wonder how come they're still standing in front of me, and not being beaten up in some back alley.

And then this weekend I have to go shop for Autumn wear because the dreaded cold is back to haunt me again. And then there's also bus tickets to go back to London. Have to spend money. I feel sick already. Why have I turned into some big time scrooge?

Having that good o' staff discount gives me 22.5% off Boots products (which is alot and very good, no kidding) and 12.5% off the rest, this applies on TOP of current promotions as well. I'ma get myself a good cleanser, No7 beauty serum for mom, glucosamine for uncle, and some toiletries. But then, I have already shopped too much that there's enough to fill 2 luggages. I started off with one you see. Sigh, while I'm at it, I might as well get a new bag too =P

people people people

If there's something I learnt from repeating that same old sequence on that Boots till, is that I hate Europeans. Oops, I mean European WOMEN. European men are juicy, slurrrrppps...

You see I met this law student from Poland the other day, his name is Maciek, sounds like Mak Cik, hahaha, but looks uber hot, and also my age, and then we exchanged numbers and everything...
*Slaps self*

Digression aside, European women is flooding Herefordshire by the hundreds. All desperately looking for jobs, money and English men. Sigh, they will spend all their money on shopping even before they have found a job. Worst thing is, they don't speak ENGLISH. And they wanna work here. Always asking for discount, like a severe version of the average Market-going Malaysian Aunties. No to mention a lack of respect for people and procedures. God, they think their boobs are so big they can push me over. Well too bad, their boobs are so big they're lopsided =P Oh yeah, did I mention that they are much larger than our Malaysian Aunties as well? Somewhere wear so tight, gross la.

Also, I don't like serving Irish and Scots. Can't hear a word they're saying. Seriously. Worst than Gilligan on Kim Possible. Sigh.

Tomorrow's the biggest business day ever, I'ma go rest now. Reports on that soon.

Being Asian

I've turned into one of the ang mohs. Gah. At 23'C, England is having its hottest moments this year. I mean, it's 23'C, haha, that's nothing compared to Malaysia's 32'C eh? But OMG I was sweating like a cow at 23'C, at the same time, staying out of the shades to absorb the skin warming UV rays. SUN!!! What a rare phenomenon. When I got home, I thought, SHIT. That was so un-malaysian. I almost feel embarassed with myself.

So anyway, work is getting too routine and mundane for my liking now. And the customers are literally driving me up the wall. I've been asked if I was Japanese or Chinese so many times I lost count because I don't have enough fingers on my hands. It's so often I devised the most stupid way of answering their stupid question.

"Hai. Watashiwa Chinese desu."

That'll confuse them for sure, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

(Lilian must feel so proud of me now, LOL)

One gutsy guy even went to the extent of saying, I bet they don't wait this long in a queue in China huh? Sweat. I look like I'm from China meh? And why are they so fascinated by my size? Cooing about how tiny I am. I'm not tiny and your boobs are way too big for you.

Every other customer calls me lovey, darling, sweetheart, and then I get a lovely, great, wonderful, splendid for every customer I serve. It's all very flattering and weird at first. By now, I feel so numb to them. I don't even know if I will respond when Fluffy calls me honey. Sigh. Don't they realise that they are unconciously using such beautiful words without actually meaning them. It's either that or my services are totally irresistable. The latter seem unlikely so I guess I'll go with the first one.

Summer seems to be over now, the weather forecasted for the next few days will be lots of rain. I can almost feel my flu making a rebound now.

its the library again

I've now learnt to exploit the libraries around here. There's one in every town, and they give free memberships and free internet access. Cool. Stupid place tipu me don't know how many pounds already :( If only I had known there was a library closer than that cafe.

Anyway, talking about Sugar, he brought along his Hong Kong colleague, Ah Wan to dinner. Let's just call him Cloud. Cloud is 32 and looks 23, hahaha, and also cook very very nice Hakka food. The day after dinner, we were invited to lunch at their little take out restaurant. This time I don't have to pay la. And boy oh boy they served us loads of FRAGRANT WHITE RICE!!!!!!!! AHhhhhh.... I MISS RICE. I'm eating so much potatoes now until my ass has grown to a size 10, while my body is still a miserable size 4. Enough of digressing, Cloud cooks the most amazing Black Beans and Fatty Pork. It's fucking nice, I tell you. In addition to that, next Tuesday he's making us Tong Sui....! How cool is that? All thanks to SayYuen who spent A LOT of time entertaining him on the phone. Haha... What were you thinking? I'm very loyal to Fluffy =) And I miss his love so much...

Got a bus to catch now... Will find time to blog. If anyone still reads. I think everyone like abandoned here already because I can't update as long and as often anymore. Sadness. By the way, I think I'm watching Top Gear more often than my bf now. Haha, latest episodes okay? jealous much?

Sugar

I met a Sugar daddy here. He bought me dinner at Wetherspoon Pub, Salmon Fillet with Watercress Sauce, mind you, and bought me a 20 pound calling card to call back home.

If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, I'm thinking your thinking is wrong.
(confused yet? I get this everyday from the customers -.-")

He's a Malaysian uncle working at a Chinese take out restaurant, treats us liek daughters, and believe me, the chinese here really help each other, and give us food discount when we buy chinese food, haha. Oh, and his name is really Sugar. He's been here so long he is already a PR here, and his kids have all graduate university, thanks to ang mohs who like to eat chinese food haha. So yea, got Malaysian jaga us now. And the other Hong Kong people running the restaurant are nice to us too.

I feel at home in that little take out shop :)

cold day

Hi ya! This is The Ling reporting LIVE from the Hereford Library, where I can get 30 minutes of internet for FREEE... muahahaha. It's my off day and I'm lovin' it.

Sad and miserable the weather is today. The sky is covered by nasty grey clouds, making it cold, I'd say about 18'C maybe? Damn you English weather. You drenched me in rain again last night, leaving me shivering as your mercy.

And because of the weather, I'm so f*cking FAT right now... Ahhhhh.... like my arms are going flabby like a dead chicken wing, then my belly is... is... a spare tyre now!!! *CRY* Now I'm turning into one of those fat english women. SIGH...

Work is good. I met this old pharmacist called Jim yesterday, he's awesome!!! Even though he has a hearing aid, he's so wise... Reminds me of Mr.Wong a lot! =) He went through my Boots workbook with me, and taught me a lot... Stuff that Heather cannot be able to teach me. In case you're wondering, Heather is the permanent pharmacist at my store, which happens to be Registered Pharmacist of the Year or something. I'm so lucky. She's fantastic, the way she works, and makes a good tutor, makes me very stressed whenever she's around. I respect what she's doing for me right now, but she's new at this, there are some little tricks that only an old ginger like Jim can do. Muahahaha. Evilness. Hayley, Becky, Jane, Allison, Bill and Symon are among the colleagues that I have right now and they're uber nice to me. The customers though, are a different story. Stupid betul, no wonder they're on medication. But then again, there are no medication for stupidity. Muahahahaha.

the english cold.

It's official. I've caught "The English Cold". And its bloody horrible. Can't smell a thing, can't eat anything because if damn difficult to breathe between my food. Gasping for breath after each ulp, I feel like a goldfish. On a brighter note, I've just treated myself to some good old retail therapy.

New Office Slacks in Black >> 12 pounds
(from the kids department, hohoho)

Blue REAL SUEDE Boots >> 5 pounds

BARGAIN OR WHAT?! Anyway, it IS impossible for me to buy bras from the adult section. Says there available up to F cup. I mean, what the hell is an F cup?? Should be bigger than a watermelon lo, like that person should just topple over her boobs. Sheesh.

Just got my payslip for the past 2 weeks actually, for 4xx pounds, but they f*king taxed 97 pounds. WTF. that's 25%. I feel poor now. Sadness. But luckily can claim back. Tillnext time.

quickie

Right now, this will be a quickie.... my new UK number is....07765681412, country code is +44. Anyone who's in uk please call me anytime =)

I'm currently using a Vodafone pay-as-you-go type card. Don't bother with the contracts thing until we've reached nottingham. Can't do anything without a permanent address.

Can you believe it? I just bought the vodafone and Hamilton went on to win the British GP!!! OMFG, WHY..... *CRY* Ferrari is never good with rain!

p/s: I'm watching HOUSE, GREY's anatomy, CSI, and F1 and Winbledon from the TV here, isn't it awesome!!!

love, Suet Ling.

ledbury

To everyone,

I'm safe and sound, working in Boots Ledbury now, paying 2 POUNDS for 30 mins of internet now. It sucks, I know. Sigh... You can call me at my Malaysian number, costs a bomb I know. It charges the caller, and ME, wtf.

MOMMY if you're reading this, plese check your email!!! And also reload for me every time you call. Or better still, change me to Celcom Postpaid ASAP ok. Thanks.

Fluffy, I love you and miss you dearly. How much you ask? Stingy me is spending 2 pounds just to let you know how much I love YOU. You'd better be a good boy or I'll shower you with ice water when you get here. It's unbearable i tell you.

By the way, I'm fattening up just nicely... Did I say it's freaking cold in the morning?


Love, Suet Ling.

oh so london

This will be a photo post, that screams, Oh-So-Ling, louder than the That's-So-Raven on Disney Channel! Pardon the horrible presentation. It's impossible to take pictures without the chilly British wind messing my hair. Speaking of hair, my mane has turned into the fur of a grizzly bear, frizzy and dry and so ugly la.... even the cats on the street has better looking fur. *POUTS*

All the cats in London are so fat, but so manja, as if they have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).
I miss manja-ing Fluffy :( No one to sayang me here, quite depressing at times.
What's with all that BM, slaps self, must lose it!!!

Album 1: It's just London being London

Taking selling butts patriotism to a whole new level.
Nice Union Jack undies, heh heh. I'm getting of getting one myself. There's this g-string I saw in Covent Garden that says Mind The Gap, inspired by the London Underground for 5 pounds only! For 5 pounds, you could also wear the Underground map as a boxer! *Snigger*

"Excuse me, sir. I'm lost, can I check your boxers please..."

London also like public artistic displays. This is "Volume". Random people gets to walk around the platform, and as you approach different pillars, you change the music that's playing all around the platform. And the best part is, you never get the same music the way Hitz.Fm does.

The London Eye and The Big Ben in the evening.
Shot from the bridge, which is so absolutely romantic.
Romantic enough for me to spot my first gay couple, 2 men hugging tenderly, titanic style.
I also want....! (not with a gay man ah)

A close up view of The Big Ben, the river, and some ferries at dusk.

My shadow. Apparently the only thing that still looks decent about me in London.

I believe this belongs to London Hilton.
If she exists.

Manja-ing daddy who accompanied me to London for a week.
On the bridge.

Once you breathe in London, you gotta walk like a Londoner.

Attempted pro shot. Sun behind the building, nice effect right?
I swear I didn't photoshop this. I'm still hopeless at photoshop.

The largest sundial I've ever seen. That works.
But in the middle of nowhere.

Trafalgar Square, now pigeon-less.
The place where my parents had to hide their faces because their daughter was chasing pigeons like she hasn't seen one before.
That happened 10 years ago on my last visit to London.

Only one description is fit for this picture.
Charming Knight in Shining Armour on his horse.

Tower Bridge. The one everyone mistakenly calls London Bridge.

Uncle Bear picking up hot chicks, ahem, with his sweet ride.

Album 2: The World of Enid Blyton (Hereford)

Not gonna say anything. Just see and savour.

Extensive greenery. I feel like I can live a year longer now.

Look at the clouds.

Reminds me of the singing flowers from Alice in Wonderland.

Beautiful home grown blooms.

That's Apple Tree for you.

Another novice attempt at photography.

Ling in the meadows.

Fat Farm Chickens, whose eggs we had for breakfast (below).

A real functional fireplace, freshly cut garden blooms, antique metal statue, and a classic and working bellow. Just like the one describe in Enid Blyton.
*Sorry lah, I'm born and bred in KL, anything un-modern fascinates me*

Rooms with authentic decoration, from the 50s preserved in all its glory.

Classic Country English furnishings.
Oh it does make me feel like a farm damsel in distress delight...

Cwm Craig Farmhouse Bed & Breakfast, Little Dewchurch, Hereford.
27 pounds, per person per night.
This is the very English breakfast room. Fresh grapefruit and cherry as a starter.

Fresh Garden tomatoes, locally produced bacon and sausage, garden mushrooms, buttered toast, and fresh farm eggs. In addition to that, we were served cereal, milk, coffee, tea, ginger jam, honey and butter.

Album 3: Tower of London

Pictures taken for the sake of taking them.

Picture taken because everyone was. Kiasu-nye saya =P

The English Yeoman.
The English and the Scots are not that different you know.
They like dressing like a woman, dress, skirts, you name it.

Oh cock!

Good protection for the Big Ol' English cock.

The English are too free.

The subject of this picture is actually the blond guy on the left.
From Pennsylvania, US. Don't ask me how I found out *winkz*
He's very cute , but he looked down. Sigh.
No worries Fluffy, I still prefer Asians ok.

This Saturday, I will be moving to Hereford for my Summer Placement. My new address will be:

41, St. Martins Street, HEREFORD.

I have yet to receive my new SIM card, will update more when I do. By the way, did I mention I will be without internet for 8 weeks during my stay in Hereford?

*CRY*

afghanistani

This is The Ling, reporting live, and alive, from London, England =)

Touched down undelayed at 3.40 pm, I dragged my 14 hour flattened arse to enter a too-warm-for-my-comfort Heathrow Airport. The first thing that amused me was the segregation system at their immigration. In there you can only be identified with 2 ways: UK/EU passport holder or REST OF THE WORLD PASSPORTS. Obviously, the UK/EU line was shorter, by far! Sure enough, "the rest of the world" is queuing very long for immigration clearance into UK. There were Malaysians, Americans, Chinese, Middle Easterners, etc. Don't know how many planes conspired to land together, just to make my life more miserable.

Just as if that wasn't enough, I had a little hiccup at the immigration. Mates, pay attention here. I was so hoping to get served by the smiley guy, who resembles a slimmer, fitter version of Dr.Wiart. However, it's just my luck that I was called forward by this guy who's looks so stern as if I ran off with his favourite heart shaped boxers. Upon showing him my visa, he interrogated me, not asked me, mind you. Despite my best efforts in coming up with convincing answers and showing him my Unconditional Offer Letter, he still wasn't convinced that I'm didn't come here to just rob him of his boxers. Bloody British B*st*rd (BBB from now on) claims that my offer letter wasn't clear enough stating that I should be studying in the UK. I mean, hello, I was approved for a UK STUDENT VISA for something! Probably gotta get to Dr.Doughty about this. However, after much lengthy persuasion, he stamped my visa.

And then I was sent to the health control unit. All I had to do, was present my medical report and my x-ray. *poof* I was cleared and let loose into the UK border, weeee~~~!

In the airport itself, I saw my first Boots The Chemist, which looks GORGEOUS...! After several days in london, I've only seen Boots though, haven't seen Lloyds or anything around, which is weird. Hmm. Anyway I was chaffeured to my uncle's place by a rented Estate Car. For 57 pounds to East London, this car comes with a driver, and a car capable of 4 humans, 4 large luggages, and 4 smaller ones.


Meet Aziz, the driver who originated from Afghanistan. How cool is that? I get to brag about meeting a live Afghanistani who's not about the bomb my brains into pieces, hehehe. He hates London for its exorbitant prices though.

Me : What's your name?
Aziz : My name is Aziz.
Dad : Oh, Aziz ah...
Aziz : No, it's Aziz, Azizah is for girls!
Me : Note to self, gotta lose the Manglish, pronto!

I think I gained like 2 kgs already. At the rate I'm eating, like a Londoner that is, it won't be long till I gain free membership to The Obese Club. Surprisingly, my stomach has adapted much faster than my brain. No significant jet lag for me, but my brain and body is EXTREMELY CONFUSED. It's cold on the outside, and warm-enough-to-sweat on the inside. Even public toilets have warm water coming out of their taps. It's ridiculous. Plus, the sun rises at about 5.30am, sets at 10 pm. Prolonged brightness disables my sleeping ability.

Happy English Stephen having an English Breakfast, cooked by my uncle.

Have been touring London extensively on foot, so I think I can conquer Broadgate-Queens Medical Centre in 15 minutes! Ahah! By the way, my Reebok has been wonderful to my feet =) And I've also heard Reeboks are what English run around with during winter. Get one.

And I've been to Marks & Spencers.... one word, GORGEOUS!!! I'm so in love with it. Bought my Spring/Autumn duvet 9.0 tog duvet there... Cotton filled, for just over 30 pounds, and Reversible Dual-colour Bedset: duvet cover+bedsheet+pillow case for 15 pounds. And there's more: 2 hollowfibre pillows for 3.80 pounds, plus a compact umbrella for 5 pounds. What a freaking bargain for such a quality product!!! You can forget about bringing your Malaysian blankets and umbrella, it's useless here.

(Tog is the warmth rating of your duvet/blanket)

Summer duvets are 4.5 tog, Spring/Autumn requires 7-9.5 togs, Winter will demand 10-13.5 tog duvets. As you can see, you WILL need a thicker, warmer blanky, even with indoor heating. I chose 9.0 tog because I brought along a compact throw blanket to be used for summer and combined with my duvet for winter, muahahaha, I feel smart. For umbrellas, Malaysian umbrellas will flip the moment it meets UK's cold drafts, and also heavy for your luggage. BUY HERE.

Don't bring shampoos and other toiletries. You can get them from dirt cheap prices, from superstores, except for facial products, cleansers are SUPER EXPENSIVE.

More pictures on my London Adventures next time. To be continued...

Big Girls Dont Cry

I guess these are times when you really feel like a big girl. Emotionally lah, my tits and my height isn't going anywhere...*grumbles* You know, when you're finally leaving your comfort zone for good. (2 years is counted as "for good" right) To a place where I will be as vulnerable as a newborn, as raw as the oyster at high class japanese buffets (means very raw, duh.)

And no, renting a place in the Malaysia Campus is not counted okay. Because I get to flee the jungle with my laundry back into mommy's arms every weekend, then Caveman Fluffy will drag me away from my luxuries back into the jungle every Sunday. During my days in Semenyih, I was a little girl alright, crying before exams, chased by jungle roaches and all.

I've got my luggages 99% packed, the figure 99% never progresses, because there WILL be something that I forgot to throw into the bag. You know, it's just me, being my absent minded self, which scares me to bits. What if I don't bring enough underwear, or or or forgot to bring my toothbrush? Then I'll just have to reassure myself that no one will notice that I'm not wearing underwear under layers of clothes. And that people won't smell a thing because smelly breath diffuses slowly in cold weather, and their noses will be too frozen too tell. But then again, AngMohs have such BIG NOSTRILS! Sigh, cannot escape already =(

Speaking of luggages, here's an ironic fact. Collectively, my luggages weight much more than I do, by at least 10%. And I just wonder how on earth am I gonna lug them all the way out of the airport. Perhaps it's a good thing after all that MAS didn't grant me extra baggage allowance. I won't be able to carry them all anyway. Though, I still do not approve of their actions! That being said, I'm flying with a promotional ticket costing 1/3 of the normal ticket and STILL demanding my full privileges as a flyer. What a horrible customer I am, heh heh. I am MAS Staff's latest nightmare!!!! *plays scary music on organ*

I will miss a lot, especially:

- everyone who shares my blood (mosquitoes not included)
- Fluffy
- my alternative family: daddy CY, Eugene gor, YinYen jie, Ronny uncle, and other relatives.
- my housemates who are always there for me, the unsmelly ones, mind you.
- all my classmates, current and previous
- my dancing koi fishes
- my queen sized bed that smells like me
- my very own toilet and shower
- using electricity and water at will
- being able to afford shopping
- ASTRO!!!
- and so much more I'm too lazy to list because I need to sleep now.

The only bit of optimism left in me is fueled by my anticipation of a 14 hour plane ride. I love being in the sky. Makes me feel like there are endless possibilities to everything. Cliche much?

It's funny when I think back to 3 years ago. I was so sure that I was gonna study Zoology at The University of Cape Town, South Africa. A century old university with 3 Nobel Prize winners under it's belt. My passion was so strong, I even thought of specializing in Ornithology, the study of birds. Haha, I was naive. Life is never this simple and straight forward. Here I am, flying to UK, for Pharmacy.

Enough of reminiscing. I'm looking forward, and am hoping to make the best out of it. So far Pharmacy has been kind to me. With the latest results release, I'm proud to say that this is my best ever results in univeristy. Good enough to make up for the mess last semester and still score better than my Year 1 average. Who says you need passion to do well now huh? Plain ol' hard work will do.

I will constantly be updating my journey here whenever I can, expect Camwhore 101 with The Ling. Mates, you know you can avoid the little bumps along the way if you pay attention to Ling-o-logy. Now focusing on traveling =)

MAS Euro Fever

Looks like the Euro Fever got into MAS as well.

The pitch....... Bangunan MAS, Jalan Sultan Ismail, Kuala Lumpur.
The players... MAS staff
The ball.......... ME

All I want is to apply for extra baggage allowance, simple enough eh? But apparently it's such a complicated task for MAS to handle, that none of the staff are capable of doing just that. Bummer!

1 800 88 3000 hotline says that I should call the HQ, which phone is NEVER picked up. Once at the ticketing office, I took a number and waited patiently until I was served, only to be told that I'm a student and I need not be waiting here. Hence, I was sent upstairs so that they can serve other non-students. And then, upstairs told me "students don't get extra allowance". Bullshit loh. So I played the "my friend got it" card. Grudgingly, he gave me 2 numbers to call: KLIA check-in counter, and KL Sentral check-in counter.

KL Sentral : You didn't declare yourself as student before you buy you ticket.
I said: I f*king booked it online, what, I'm supposed to tell the computer I'm a student is it?
KL Sentral : I'm sorry I cannot help you.

KLIA: I give you another number.
New Number: No one picked up for the first 5 attempts.
New Number: Maybe you can write a letter to the HQ.
Me: HQ was the one who directed me here!!!

Conclusively, I spent ringgits in calls, petrol and valuable time to become MAS's Euro Football. Kicked about among their staff/players, and then got kicked off the pitch. I didn't even get to the goal! F*king MAS, no wonder your business is dwindling.

I don't know what to tell everyone. I guess, if you're intending to fly MAS, DON'T if you don't wish to pay for excess baggage. If you insist to fly MAS, you can either fly First Class, fly with Enrich membership, or make sure you are promised extra baggage allowance BEFORE you buy.

I hope all the staff that served me today get a 100 times more shitty customer tomorrow. Hopefully one who pukes on them.

No Air Parody

I present to you, a parody of No Air by American Idol Jordin Sparks, and Chris Brown. Lyrics personally adapted by The Ling for your viewing pleasure. I call it... NO HAIR !

[Jordin Sparks]
If pits should one day suffocate
It's 'cause the hairs grown like hay
Ignoring is like airing your pits with no air...
Ohh...

[Chris Brown]
My hairs are long, don't wanna shave
You don't get how it makes me suave
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

[Jordin Sparks]
But how do you expect me
to leave my pit hairs be
'Cause my pits revolves around being hairless enough to breathe...

[Chorus:][Both]
It shows when your pits can breathe with no hair
Must shave, must wax till no hair
Feels smooth when your pits have no hair
No hair, for air...

Without hair my pits just smells so clean
Shaving cream even gives it a sheen
If the hair's here pits just can't breathe
No hair, for air...

No hair, hair [ohhh]
For air, air [nooo]
No hair, hair [oh a]
For air, air

[Chris Brown]

I shaved, I plucked, I waxed, I trimmed
And pit hairs comes right off my skin
There's not a hair left to haunt my pits, it GLEAMS...

[Jordin Sparks]
But somehow it's still growing inside
I rid you once, but you survived
I don't know how, but I'll get you, I swear...

[Both]
But how do you expect me
to leave my pit hairs be
'Cause my pits revolves around being hairless enough to breathe...

[Chorus:][Both]
It shows when your pits can breathe with no hair
Must shave, must wax till no hair
Feels smooth when your pits have no hair
No hair, for air...

Without hair my pits just smells so clean
Shaving cream even gives it a sheen
If the hair's here pits just can't breathe
No hair, for air...

No hair, hair
For air, air
No hair, hair
For air, air...

I swear it just came to me, I don't go around doing stuff like this on purpose. But seriously, this song is so overplayed that I'm extremely tried of it. A breath of fresh air certainly makes it more refreshing eh?

P/s: Pit hair is armpit hair lah, dodo.

my 15 allergies

Over the last few years, I have developed many allergies that I never thought I had. 15 allergies that cannot be offset with common antihistamines...

1) I'm allergic to bumpy cars, especially jeeps.
Reaction: Nausea, and car sickness. Also triggers Dystychiphobia.

2) I'm allergic to Daniel Lee & Fans.
Reaction: Sudden onset of shivers, and piloerection (raised hair) .

3) I'm allergic to people who stare at my legs.
Reaction: Involuntary movements, i.e: tugging at my shorts, resulting in unintentional flashing of waist.

4) I'm allergic to body odours on public transports.
Reaction: Bronchoconstriction, irreversible with salbutamol (bronchodilator), treatable only by instant removal of allergen.

5) I'm allergic to Live Lala, or as I like to call it, "Seafood"
Reaction: Reversible Eyesore.

6) I'm allergic to fuel price increases.
Reaction: Acute Scrooge-ism.

7) I'm allergic to Anti-Durians.
Reaction: Petit Mal type epilepsy throughout anti-durian confession. Followed by chronic ignorance of fact.

8) I'm allergic to Random-Adders on Facebook/Friendster.
Reaction: Short memory loss of friend request.

9) I'm allergic to people who owe me money.
Reaction: Speech impairment in manner of repetitive debt hinting.

10) I'm allergic to "Your tits are too small" critics.
Reaction: Chronic depression.

12) I'm allergic to rude brats.
Reaction: Acute pyrexia, flushing of the cheeks, and release of violent alter ego.

11) I'm allergic to raw onions/garlics.
Reaction: Temporary smooth muscle relaxation of the tongue with inability to retract into the oral cavity.

12) I'm allergic to sluggish internet connections.
Reaction: Induction of vulgar verbal reflex.

13) I'm allergic Formula Races.
Reaction: Pronounced tachycardia, high blood pressure, and severe anxiety.

14) I'm allergic to results collection.
Reaction: Insomnia, constipation, with palpitations being common response.

15) I'm allergic to public display of dirty undergarments.
Reaction: Onset of headache, loss of conscious temper control.

These are some severe allergies that I've been sufferings. Friends and family, please be kind enough to prevent any contact with the above mentioned allergens when I'm around to avoid undesirable allergic reactions. If symptoms persist, please immediately source for ice-cream.

p/s: I think I'm beginning to be allergic to allergies too... Is that like, Number 16 already?

zhng your vista

ZH'NG YOUR VISTA! : A Beginner's Guide.
(Pros, please don't read this because I feel paiseh to have just found out how.)

A solution for:

- sluggish startups
- high RAM consumption
- computers which take forever to boot or sleep
- frequently hanged computers
- stingy people like me who are unwilling to spend on extra RAM.
- innocents like me who have no choice because new laptops come with Windows Vista only.

Introduction:

Personally, I'm no computer geek, or a student in Computer Science & Information Technology(CSIT). But it doesn't mean I won't appreciate a speedier computer for less moolah! However, I have had trouble tweaking my brand new Windows Vista on my HP Notebook. You see, everyone knows Vista is RAM consuming. Among them, are the brilliant CSIT friends of mine, who have cleverly avoided, and WILL continue to avoid using Vista. They sure can tell me how to save RAM : switch off the visuals, reduce startup programmes. But, that's about as useful as a cow mooing at me. Sadly they can't guide me in detail, because they don't have a Vista for reference. Hence, I'm producing a layman's guide to Zh'ng Your Vista! Dedicated to all the noobies like me out there.

Experimental Data:

All data are true to my own observations, RAM readings taken at the end of startup on a HP Pavilion tx2032 Entertainment Notebook PC with the following specifications.

• AMD Athlon 64 TK-57 (1.9GHz, 512KB L2 Cache)
  
• 2GB DDR2 RAM
  
• Nvidia GeForce Go 6150 graphics
• Hard drive of 160GB
  
• Windows Vista Home
• 802.11a/b/g with Bluetooth

BEFORE: 55%
Un-Zh'ng-ed RAM consumption

Step by step Zh'ng-ing:

Reduce startup programs

• Go to Start >> Start Search at the bottom, Type in: msconfig, click OK.
• User Account Control (UAC) pops up, click Continue.
  
• Select Startup tab, uncheck unwanted programs at startup, i.e: Messenger, LimeWire... Click OK.
• Restart later.
  
• Allow any registry changes if prompted (occurs if Spybot is installed)

Disable visual bling-blings.

• Go to Start >> Help and Support
• Search: Performance Tools
• Select Performance and Maintenance Tools
• Select Improve Computer Performance
  
• Select Adjust Visual Effects from the sidebar
• User Account Control (UAC) pops up, click Continue.
• Under the Visual Effects tab, select Custom
  
• Uncheck unwanted features. Remember: less ticks, means less memory to run.
• If you're unsure of what to uncheck, refer below for my options.
• Click Apply to test the current settings. Click OK when you're satisfied.

Other tips:

My visual configurations aims to retain the Vista appearance, minus some special effects, without looking like Windows 95. I checked the following:

• Show thumbnails instead of icons
• Show window contents while dragging
• Smooth edges of screen fonts
• Use drop shadows for icon labels on the desktop
• Use visual styles on windows and buttons
• Yes that's all I checked. Only 5. And it still looks nice =)
  

Do not make the same mistake I did, which was having 2 antivirus softwares: Avast and AVG. (You can't blame a girl for being too careful =P) It slowed my computer considerably. In this case, less is more!

Turn off User Account Control (UAC) because it pops up after everything thing I do. Especially recommended if you are the sole user of your computer =)
Start >> Control Panel >> User Accounts and Family y Safety >> Turn UAC on or off

Turn off the gorgeous sidebar on the right side of your desktop, I heard it's RAM consuming. Frankly, I'd rather leave it be, because it's gorgeous and I like it, hehe. I may be stingy with RAM, but have to use some also lah. Since I paid for it already.

And now my laptop takes a grand total of 10 seconds to startup! It's not an Olympics record, but it's significantly faster, good enough for me. Take a look at my new RAM consumption.

AFTER: 35%

That's a whopping 20% decrease in RAM consumption.
Now I'm a happy Vista Noobie =D


**********End of Zh'ng-ing with The Ling**********

Now I wanna promote the FIREFOX DOWNLOAD DAY 2008!!!
My favourite web browser is setting a new WORLD RECORD, and I want to be part of it.

The Guinness World Record will be "The most software downloaded in 24 hours"!!!
Download the Faster, Safer and Smarter Firefox 3 within 24 hours of release to be part of this wonderful feat! Wouldn't it be cool to be one of the first to have the latest browser? However, the launching date has yet to be released itself -.-"

For more information, and Date Release: click HERE...

Mall Fire

OMG, I knew this was gonna appear in the papers.

Read it here:
Fifty Motorbikes burnt in mall fire.
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/6/8/nation/21493791&sec=nation

I was there. I could smell the weird smoke disturbing my heavenly inhalation of The J.Co. Donuts aroma. And then an exit at B3 was blocked off due to the fire, Fluffy was ushered away from the exit. From the B2 exit, we could see the fire engine, photographers, and about hundred motorists squatting by the road, wondering if their bikes were gonna be next.

What surprised me was, there was no fire alarm bell, no warning, no nothing. Mall go-ers (including many teeny bopper teens who were there for the Seventeen Magazine Summer Splash at the Sunway Surf Beach) were unsuspectingly breathing in all the toxic gases emitted from the burn of 50 motorbikes. Young 16 year old lungs, destroyed by dangerous fumes!!! Are they gonna only warn the poor unsuspecting shoppers about the fire once it spreads to the malls, or even other cars??? Most people won't even know that they're bikes are on fire! (or cars what might cause more fire!)

It's extremely irresponsible for the Sunway Management! Spread the word.