Saturday, July 03, 2010

Changes on me, but still it may change nothing.

A new realization has dawned upon me. Who knew that so many things could change in one summer, one trip back home? You know I'm not as stubborn as you think, I can change quite easily, for all the reasons perceived as right.

Life changed
Going home was nerve wrecking as I haven't been home for awhile. Things back home have changed while I was gone, and so have I while I was away, and I wasn't sure if I could feel entirely comfortable being back as I did before I left. But. For most of my worries, there were pleasant surprises beyond my wildest imagination.

Life turned out to be breathtakingly phenomenal. Multiple meetings with branches of the family tree took place. It somehow reminded me of how much I've grown, and changed. Met a ridiculous number of people this summer, reinforcing old friendships, and building new bridges with a handful of amazing souls I am very pleased that I have met. Being at home made me miss home even more when I left.

And so, I know no matter how long I will be away, this is and always will be HOME. A place where life is most comfortable for me, and it is lovable this way.

Perceptions changed.
An unfortunate incident on someone I know, shook me to realization. I felt helpless, but I prayed for them. God bless her and her family. I guess we all need a wake up call every now and then, to realize that life is not in our hands to control, as much as we love to believe in the contrary. Life could be taken away anytime, if not by yourself, it could be by someone else.

And I kept thinking, would I be happy if I died now. If I had the chance to do something quick before I die, what would it be? I think I would just let the people I care about know how much I love them, for they made my life worth living, just by being part of it. I would want them to know that, because they could still make another person's life beautiful.

Resolutions changed.
I'll take an advice from someone this time. I have resolved to attempt to quit voluntary/ unnecessary drinking and clubbing, and other vices. If I can cut a habit of hitting people, I can do this too. Again, I'm not as stubborn as you think. I can, and will change, for the right reasons. Because I want to.

By the way, its about time I announced this. Yours truly is currently back in Nottingham, preparing for graduation on 20th July, and gearing up to start work on 26th July in Oxford. Yes, I graduated! Another post on that later ;) The next few weeks will be challenging for reasons I cannot seem to explain, but I'll cope, like I always do.


Anonymous said...

spain!!! :)

Anonymous said...

spain!!! :)