Friday, February 27, 2009

I hate Broadgate Park

A very pissed off Ling is going to make this a short and mean post.

Friday was my day off, and I was hoping for a decent lie-in. In case you haven't heard, I've been feeling pretty down since returning from Manchester. Probably caught a bug from someone (ahem! I have some idea who) coupled with the lack of quality rest over the past few weeks, I'm now far far away from being Superwoman.


With my eyes 25% opened, hair messed up, face randomly dotted with white pimple cream, in my sloppy PJs, I dragged my heavy ass to the door, feeling extremely annoyed.

Saw this representative from Broadgate Park (BGP)who gave me a 5 minute lecture.

"Blah Blah Blah, You will have to pay for the damages blah blah blah..."

Yes that's all that registered in my head. When she's done, I gladly closed my door in her face and crawled back in my warm nest of teddies, pillows, and cotton duvet. ZZZzzzz...

Seriously! There's no need to knock in such an uncivilized manner at a ridiculously early hour of 9am! If she had "accidentally" brokened the door, then BGP would make me pay for the damages as well. Sheesh! If it were to deliver me an English breakfast, fine, I would be more than happy to be woken up. Wake me up just to tell me to pay you more money? Forget it! I'm not so stupid lo!

Repaired damage.

All this because of 1 BIG IDIOT who decided to take a huge chunk of cement off the staircase in my accommodation block. I have no idea whatsoever about what he used to break off so much solid hard cement. From what I've gathered, the steel skeleton of the construction was stripped bare of cement, and the metal was observed to be dented as well. That explains why BGP is furious about it. Now BGP wants the entire block to pay for the damages, simply because they cannot find the culprit.

The same principle applies to the Fire Alarm thing that they also want us to pay for. It only takes 1 idiot to do something stupid, and BGP will turn it into a money making opportunity. The fire alarm rang at 4 something AM because some idiot decided that waking everyone up with the fire alarm at 4am would be FUN. It was extremely unpleasant to be standing out in the cold with only a jacket and my PJs for 30 minutes. What was even more distasteful was another "payment speech" thrown at us by another BGP rep. There's no worse way to start my day.

Why should we pay for the sins of some idiot? In case BGP has forgotten, we are as innocent as they are. Furthermore, who would be stupid enough to damage his/her own accommodation block. For all we know, it could be BGP's evil plan to make us pay more because the recession is taking a toll on BGP's bank account.

Let's put it this way,
BGP is a company that earns plenty of money each academic year, all from students.
Student are here on a budget, whose income comes from their parents.

I'm sure the cost of repairing is nothing compared to your BIG FAT BANK ACCOUNT. In contrast, every little extra cost could mean the world to a student. I'm pretty sure that BGP can fix the situation and still have PLENTY OF PROFIT to drown the manager with.

SUPER GERAM. But Big Bird came to my rescue with a magical tub of Haagen Daz Limited Edition Caramel and Cookies (I think). It's amazing how much magic some ice cream can do :D

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

of penises and tofu

"The level of erection hardness is measured in a scale of one to four using the Erection Hardness Score (EHS) developed by the European Association of Urology.

'Level one is like tofu where the male organ is large but not hard,

level two is similar to a peeled banana where it’s not hard enough for penetration,

level three is like an unpeeled banana where it’s hard enough for penetration but not completely,

and level four is similar to a cucumber where it’s completely hard and fully rigid'

explained said Dr Rosie King, who led the study in the Asia Pacific region from May to July 2008."

entirely extracted from an article from The Star.

Okay, maybe it's not that funny, it's as bad as a guy asking which girl has AA cup boobs. *Avoiding eye contact* Don't get me wrong, I love tofu to bits, along with all tofu products, especially Tau Foo Fah (My No.1 favourite dessert in the whole wide world, not even ice cream can't beat). Now everytime I see tofu, I will be reminded of men with floppy dicks. Gross-ness. *Pukes*

So this is how experts view penises, as fruits/vegetables. Might I add the study was conducted by Pfizer, the company that sells Viagra! Publicity in disguise, hohoho... They want to psycho people into needing their product. I feel sorry for men who are floppy and stupid, because 4 tablets of (any strength) Viagra can easily cost over RM 200 in Malaysia, and about 60 pounds in UK.

So boys, look after your little bros. Watch those cans of sugar loaded Coke. Don't get diabetes. Because when you get diabetes, God throws in erectile dysfunction absolutely FREE.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Manchester PM2 Mini Reunion

Manchester Trip 21 Feb 2009

I can't believe no PM2-ian so far has made an effort for a mini reunion in UK! We should start making a law about this, making this a compulsory event. Considering there are so many PM2-ians invaded the UK (Bristol, Sunderland, Manchester, Newcastle, Galway, Belfast. etc.), leaving the committed PM2-ians in Malaysia with only a few little kitties to reunite with every year. Nevermind. That makes me the pioneer, muahahahha...!

Zuo-en, Adrian and Joyce are based in Manchester universities, so it is the perfect place for a mini reunion. Partly also because they can't run away from us if we head there, hahaha, just kidding! I also managed to nag YeeLeong and Anthony to come. That, was the ideal situation.

In the end, Anthony FFK-ed us, because the transport tickets from Newcastle to Manchester is , I quote him, "too expensive"! And Joyce managed to escape to London to be with her brother. Joyce is forgivable. Anthony is found guilty, and is sentenced to be the next reunion organiser. Court is adjourned! *Slams wooden mini-hammer*

A quickie on the ones who are in UK, for the ones back home.

YeeLeong is now studying in Sunderland, instead of Belfast.

Still extremely lean and the opposite of mean, this ladies man (who never fails to help me carry my Biological Science 1&2 dumbells back in the good ol' A'Level days) charmed his way to a sweet new girlfriend, which he proudly introduced to me as, I quote YeeLeong "The Future Mrs.Lee". DingYee her name is. A 1989 Malaysian Baby. Let's see if we get wedding invitations from PohSeik or YeeLeong first =P

Then the hosts Zuo-En and Adrian took us to a very sumptuous DimSum lunch at Pacific.
Picture for Anthony to be jealous about.

Zuo-En is now very much single * Cue: GASP! *and graduating this summer! There should be plans for a reunion this summer back in Malaysia, although I won't be going home this summer =(, Zuo-En is considering of a professional career here in UK. She'll be hard to get hold of when she starts working. Partly because she won't having long summer holidays anymore, and also because she's very popular here =)

I am proud to announce that Adrian is going to be PM2's very own neurologist, and we'll also probably see him on those huge screen mamak live telecast as a goalie in the English Premier League one day. Hahaha. He was competing in football at the Manchester Malaysian Games'09 which was on the same day as well. On his love life, I think Adrian claims to be "not interested" in it. For a moment I mis-digested it as him not being interested in females. Scared me to death. I think he's just waiting for the girls to go after him when he becomes Dr. Adrian "Neurologist" Lim, rather than wasting his energy going after girls now. Heh heh.

With Lynn and DingYee (everybody practice calling Mrs.Lee) YeeLeong's female companies both from Sunderland, one for each side of his arm, hahaha. Our new friends for the day :)

That lunch is officially one of the happiest moments of my UK life, I had no idea how much I miss them until I met them. Can tell by the way we chattered non-stop, poor DingYee and Lynn was pretty lost in our conversations. Sorry! Didn't mean it. It was short, and yet it was sweet, definitely a Must-Do-Again.

A breathtaking sight outside Selfridges & Co.
I wonder if it's the Manchester Eye, because I wished that I could get on for a ride =( In the end, I went loitering and shopping around Manchester, bought a couple of stuff.

But my biggest and proudest accomplistment was still hunting down...
The Famous Krispy Kreme Doughnuts!!!

Single handedly, might I add =P
Would you believe it if I just said I followed my nose?

I will end here with a big thank you shout out to Gigi and Elwin.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Through the looking glass

Through the looking glass,
Alice struggles with the signs that are all too blur
The Cheshire Cat grins ear to ear
And yet one can get too caught up in her curiosity
in the Mad Hatter's Happy Un-birthday Tea Parties.

On the opposite side of the looking glass.
The white rabbit rushes for time
Leaving Alice more lost than ever behind
Deeming her as someone of no importance
Subjecting the seeker to defenselessness.

Stepping through the looking glass,
The white roses of the castle grounds seemed soft to the touch
but the Queen of Hearts would allow no things as such
The heat of forbindency, subject to scrutiny
One just wonders whether tomorrow is to be or not to be.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Valentines Day

Breaking news:
This just in! This girl has PASSED her First Aid Exam!!! And got a free MUG to boot too ;) Thank you all for the wishes, thank you dummy for not breaking under my thrusts, thank you anonymous-civil-engineer-volunteer-casualty for calming me down and being such a gentle casualty to me. Looking forward to my first duty =P

Eh, no one is allowed to make me perform CPR again for the next 3 days.
I have had enough practising with the poor bear on my bed.
Please faint nearer to another first aider, thank you.
Or, better still, faint near a hot guy.


Whoever said being single on Valentines Day is lonely, is obviously a sick person whom no one wants to spend a moment with. I had a blast on Valentines day. Well I did spend the morning cleaning my toilet, and my muddy shoes (from the dirty snow) it somehow felt good, rather than pathetic. Unlike some people, I take pride in being clean. Gleaming white shoes and disinfectant scented toilets have endorphin-like effects on my soul =)

Of course, I did go out later in the evening. It is, Valentines Day after all.

A generous restock of my chocolate stash!
(I don't think I ever want to be attached on Valentines day again.)

A single red rose...

A sumptuous buffet dinner with 12 other singles...

A couple of glasses of alcohol for the occasion...

Myself, IngChang and 3D glasses.

A camwhore that was NOT drunk!

And that pretty much sums up my Valentines Day celebration.
My word, VDay is much fun with friends than with a significant other, I think I'm now addicted to singlehood. Hahaha! Special thanks to EeHow, Kelvin, Simon, Daniel, Shin Hau, BigBird, IngChang, Grace, and YitLing for making Vday, my day =)

Friday, February 13, 2009

F-cup cookies

Despite my constant self-tease about the mosquito bites residing on my chest, let me first convince you that any methods of breast enlargement (except by good ol' weight gain) has never EVER crossed my mind.

Let me also stress that I am perfectly aware that I'm so tit-less that LCCT probably has bigger bumps on their runway than what I have on me. No more taunting, please and thank you. I already know it.

So I heard about this thingy that got me highly amused... heard of F-Cup Cookies, anybody?
(this is probably gonna be another episode of me being just jakun-ly me)

Apparently it's a revolutionary product that threatens to put the plastic surgery of breast implants out of business! Unless of course, you want breasts from F-cup to a KKK-cup!

Behold! Sheyla Hershey with her massive 38KKK-cup implants.
Certified the World's largest tits.
100% plastic, 100% lethal.
This is something even MasterCard can't buy, simply because the card can't even be swiped through that cleavage! Cash, however, is thinner, and accepted worldwide =)

I can't help but think how she's gonna sleep. See if she tried to sleep facing down on her bed, she would have to balance herself like gasing (spinning top). LOL! Funny sight. She's lucky to be Brazillian. Should she experience UK's unforgiving 29 mph wind, she'd topple forward to land breast first on the road. But then again, the breast would've cushioned her fall so she wouldn't hurt her pretty little face. FINE. I give up, can't find anything to complain about super huge boobs. There's absolutely no excuse to NOT want them.

F-Cup Cookies claims to have Pueraria mirifica, a root herb native to South East Asia as the active ingredient. Click the herb to it's dedicated wikipedia page. My 10 minutes of google searching told me that the herb is apparently a phytoestrogen that is traditionally used to stimulate breast enlargement. Strangely enough, this was not mentioned by wikipedia one bit. Hmmm...

My source told me that the product is all the rage is Malaysia right now, and that she's taking it as well. I told her to let me know when her A-cup has grown into a Large HarMein sized bowl.

"I am Har Mein. I am yummy. Do you want to taste me in your mouth?",
said the Har Mein, seductively.

If you ask me, I have plenty of doubts about this "miracle" product. Are there clinical trials performed to prove its efficacy? Even if it doesn't produce any results, is it safe to consume this product? Cancer? Liver damage? We certainly don't want a replay of The Thalidomide Incident where a product caused thousands of babies to be born with deformity. If you're tipping the hormonal balance in your body all the time, what about period irregularity, amenorrhoea (painful periods) and mood swings?

Too many of my pharmacy-jargon-abracadabra? Here's the point.
What's the point of having great tits, when your moodswing is gonna scare any men to state of temporary impotency?

Wait, forget all that. Does the product even have a license for sale in Malaysia?

Ethically speaking, I wonder if it's a good idea to have girls who has yet to see the end of their puberty flushing their systems with plant hormones? It wouldn't turn them into a plant, but should there be any restrictions made on the sale of the product? It's like giving aspirin to under-16s so that they can develop Reye's Syndrome.

But hey, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt. There's a first time for everything. Maybe the herb has been patented by its pioneer. Judging by its popularity, maybe IT WORKS. Or maybe its just good ol' puberty doing its job. You never know.

It sucks to have small boobs, and take it from someone who has them for real. Me. I totally understand why lil' teeny boppers are so enthusiastic about this product. Who doesn't want to look gorgeous, and be desired by men (even if it's just for sexual purposes) ?

As for me, I think I'll wait for my next breast-growth-spurt, due when I start producing milk for my baby. Right now, I have learnt to accept my tit-less-ness with grace, and proud that I'm not the XL-sized superficial bitch that I thought I was. I'm just a M-sized one =D

If I were Sheyla Hershey and have someone who loves me because of my KKK tits, I'll get my implants removed into a gorgeously wrapped up box as a Valentine's day gift for him. He can make love to those silicone bags, while I get a good nights sleep lying flat on the bed on Valentine's night.

We'll see if there will be a sequel to this entry, when the results come in.
Happy Valentines Day

Love, Ling.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

CNY in London

I'm on a roll! London's now out of the way, Manchester tickets in my hands and there are also plans for Birmingham and Oxford still pending! Weee~~! Manchester games anybody? Here is the mandatory London post. The conclusion of my CNY Chillax Week.

Just in case anyone's wondering my National Express Nottingham-London return tickets only cost me a mere 10.50 pounds!!! Heh heh heh... I could travel to London every month like this.

University College London, YukChang's Uni.

Met with my uncles, auntie, and several cuzzies! Took some pictures, but they were all on THEIR camera, I'm still hunting down my cousins for it. Can I just add that The Westbury Mayfair Hotel is so gorgeous! I've never been in one of the posher hotels in UK, and wow I really like this one. Solely because their door men complimented me!!! Muahahaha, I'm so biased =P Don't care, they made my day.

UCL from another vantage point.

On Sunday, I met with an OLD pal from my Taylors College days, YukChang. He deserves special mention here because he forked out in excess of 12 hours of his time, despite his extremely hectic schedule just for me. We did what us Malaysians do best, EAT and CHAT!

I think you can tell that it's going to be a food review from this point on.
HARE & TORTOISE , Japanese restaurant. 10 points for the name *BIG TICK*
YukChang used to work there so he could do some "magic" in the kitchen and at the cashier, heh heh heh. So here I am, taa-daa!

I have not had any proper sashimi in 8 months, but there were some sushis from Alfred's kitchen and buffet dinners. And God, did I miss being able to express the inner glutton in me at ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET at Miyako, Sheraton Subang. BEST DAMN THING.

Back to HARE & TORTOISE...

Nice or not!!! I did put this up on purpose, because i <3 roes!
YukChang doesn't take them because he thinks they're too fishy.
In this case, I think it's fishy delicacy with a characteristic texture. This. Is HALF filled with roe, unlike the Jusco versions that gives barely enough to cover the rice!

The one who made my stomach very happy that day.

Unagi sushi, simply amazing!
Other tables get 4 pieces, but we got the entire eel's worth =P

Crazy fella ordered this, but then told me he doesn't fancy raw food.
So WHY did you work in a sushi restaurants lah!
He made me finish all the juicy bits of fatty salmon, which I willingly obliged.
Those are some super thick, and generous portions of flesh I might add.
With generous streaks of fish fat loaded with Omega 3!

See that smug look on my face + a contented grin.
I've always wondered how sushi will be like in this part of the world.
Would it be "westernised" to cater to the delicate non-Asian stomach?
The conclusion that I have arrived at, is that at HARE & TORTOISE, at least those that I ate, the sashimi has never been more FRESH! I think it's partly because the weather was icy cold with the snow falling outside, that kept the sashimi, cold and fresh!

For dessert, we went to the cake shop next door, I dont' remember the name now.
This is Tiramisu and Pistachio gelato.
Nothing to shout about though. Quite nice lah.

The blackforest cake however was a masterpiece!
The texture was very light and fresh. Despite a tummy full of sushi, I did not experience the slightest hint of "jelat-ness", in fact I felt like I could eat 2 more!

Just when I was feeling extremely happy after a gratifying meal, something had to happen to ruin my weekend. And I thought I couldn't get more unlucky =.="

I missed my bus. AGAIN.
This time, because of adverse weather disrupting London's otherwise efficient public transport. Both the London Underground and the buses weren't operating normally.


In the end, YukChang decided to subsidise my new bus ticket to get back to Nottingham.
By that point, I was totally freaking out!!! I've got a test on Monday and I haven't studied a single word for it! We're talking about 1 of 10 tests that will account for 15% of a 30 credit module here!!! In addition to that, I'm already spending over my budget in London!

I was very close to buying a train ticket home out of desperation.
But then the miser in me woke up when the cash register flashed a deadly 53 POUNDS for a single ride from London to Nottingham. Bah. I'd rather wait, than be ripped off!!!

Poor fella stayed back and accompanied me in Starbucks for an addition 6 hours or so, until my next ride is here. It was a good opportunity to catch up even further. And I was glad that I was in London, being part of the "worst snowing episode in 2 decades" phenomenon.

After all, we don't get to experience this everyday.
Just in case you're wondering I did get back to Nottingham at 2am Monday morning, and obtained a very decent score in my test =D Yay me!

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

CNY part 2

I painstakingly got back from London. Freezing, blizzard-dy London =.=" The weather here is so totally screwed up. Just when I thought the weather is getting warmer they had to throw some snow in my face. No wonder all the Britons talk about is the weather. Because there's always something to complain about it. Stories on that later! I'm dying to post some photos!

Snowflakes all over the windshield...

When it first started to snow on Sunday 12pm...

After 10 hours of snow, we have SnowCars :)

As a continuation from where I last left off...

(I have this uncanny need to fulfill some imaginary obligation to report my CNY week to my parents, I think I have Permanent head Damage already. So bear with me please.)

I attended the Refresher's Fayre last week, along with pretty much everyone else I know. The phrase "FREE DOMINO'S PIZZAS" travels fast! Especially when we're talking about consistently hungry university students, and the cheapskate ones. *COUGH COUGH* Lunch of the day? FREE PIZZAs. Great. Saved me plenty of cooking, and washing time, gained multi-hundred calories along with that, what's not to like? =P

And hey, I'm Malaysian, it's genetic.

17's Smooth & matte in Nearly Nude

Another good idea that I heard from a friend, is to register for a new Boots Advantage Card, even if you already have one. You'll get another Boots Goody Bag! We're talking about Body Lotion, Shower Creme, Comb, Cosmetic pouch and Lipstick here. At least, that's what I found in mine. Normally, I don't wear Lipstick, but this 17 Smooth & Matte Nearly Nude shade is really, nude =) It gives this hint of colour without really being there. I super duper love it! Gonna find an excuse to take it out for a test run! Kelvin Cookie Monster also gave me the lipstick he got, hahaha!

Not that he needs lipstick at all, as he's born with naturally Amber-Chia-ish-lips!

Digressing a little, for someone who was on scholarship for his academic excellence, he mistaken a can of Korean tauge for Straw Mushrooms =.="

On Wednesday, I finally gave in to many of Herman's calls to attend the Mandarin Christian Fellowship. To be honest, I have sinned with my absence at the chapel since the semester ended. Paris, Hereford and Exams were in the way! To welcome a new group of exchange students from the China Ningbo campus, the "old" members, (that's us, yeah, OLD, pfft!) came up with some dishes to provide them with a sumptious dinner spread. There were rice, fried noodles, curry chicken, vegetables, dumplings, omelettes, apple crumble and custard. I, The-One-Who-Decided-to-go-at-the-Very-Last-Minute, managed to cough up a potato salad from my kitchen. Turned out that the potato salad was fairly popular as well, with 95% gone at the end of dinner. In return, I was drilled on my proficiency in Chinese. Despite studying the language for a total of 10 years, (eh, I took SPM Chinese and didn't fail ok), I still struggle to keep up with them. HELP! I'm being banana-fied!! The HORROR!!!

Wednesday happened to be my Lil' Bro's 13th birthday. I wished him already, but I'll do an honorary one here anyway. 'Coz that lil' smarty pants got straight A's for UPSR =D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO! Be a good boy and please eat more and grow taller than me. If not I will disown you. Heh heh. Just kidding about the last part.

On Thursday there was a Steamboat session at St.Peter's Court, organized by YitLing, Rachel, Irene, PuiLing and the rest of the SPC talented chef gang! The. Tom. Yam. Was. Out. Of. This. World. Spiced the lights out of my tongue, I thought I will never be able to tasted the gorgeous aroma of salted fish again! BUT! The taste was beyond heavenly... *dreamy* Something like taking heroin and experiencing euphoria! Thank you GIRLS, the dinner was amazing! I'll be lazy and post Brian's blog instead if you're interested in the Mr.Charming himself and the pictures :P Wah see, Brian I'm promoting you =)

part III: My weekend in London.