Thursday, June 26, 2008

oh so london

This will be a photo post, that screams, Oh-So-Ling, louder than the That's-So-Raven on Disney Channel! Pardon the horrible presentation. It's impossible to take pictures without the chilly British wind messing my hair. Speaking of hair, my mane has turned into the fur of a grizzly bear, frizzy and dry and so ugly la.... even the cats on the street has better looking fur. *POUTS*

All the cats in London are so fat, but so manja, as if they have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).
I miss manja-ing Fluffy :( No one to sayang me here, quite depressing at times.
What's with all that BM, slaps self, must lose it!!!

Album 1: It's just London being London

Taking selling butts patriotism to a whole new level.
Nice Union Jack undies, heh heh. I'm getting of getting one myself. There's this g-string I saw in Covent Garden that says Mind The Gap, inspired by the London Underground for 5 pounds only! For 5 pounds, you could also wear the Underground map as a boxer! *Snigger*

"Excuse me, sir. I'm lost, can I check your boxers please..."

London also like public artistic displays. This is "Volume". Random people gets to walk around the platform, and as you approach different pillars, you change the music that's playing all around the platform. And the best part is, you never get the same music the way Hitz.Fm does.

The London Eye and The Big Ben in the evening.
Shot from the bridge, which is so absolutely romantic.
Romantic enough for me to spot my first gay couple, 2 men hugging tenderly, titanic style.
I also want....! (not with a gay man ah)

A close up view of The Big Ben, the river, and some ferries at dusk.

My shadow. Apparently the only thing that still looks decent about me in London.

I believe this belongs to London Hilton.
If she exists.

Manja-ing daddy who accompanied me to London for a week.
On the bridge.

Once you breathe in London, you gotta walk like a Londoner.

Attempted pro shot. Sun behind the building, nice effect right?
I swear I didn't photoshop this. I'm still hopeless at photoshop.

The largest sundial I've ever seen. That works.
But in the middle of nowhere.

Trafalgar Square, now pigeon-less.
The place where my parents had to hide their faces because their daughter was chasing pigeons like she hasn't seen one before.
That happened 10 years ago on my last visit to London.

Only one description is fit for this picture.
Charming Knight in Shining Armour on his horse.

Tower Bridge. The one everyone mistakenly calls London Bridge.

Uncle Bear picking up hot chicks, ahem, with his sweet ride.

Album 2: The World of Enid Blyton (Hereford)

Not gonna say anything. Just see and savour.

Extensive greenery. I feel like I can live a year longer now.

Look at the clouds.

Reminds me of the singing flowers from Alice in Wonderland.

Beautiful home grown blooms.

That's Apple Tree for you.

Another novice attempt at photography.

Ling in the meadows.

Fat Farm Chickens, whose eggs we had for breakfast (below).

A real functional fireplace, freshly cut garden blooms, antique metal statue, and a classic and working bellow. Just like the one describe in Enid Blyton.
*Sorry lah, I'm born and bred in KL, anything un-modern fascinates me*

Rooms with authentic decoration, from the 50s preserved in all its glory.

Classic Country English furnishings.
Oh it does make me feel like a farm damsel in distress delight...

Cwm Craig Farmhouse Bed & Breakfast, Little Dewchurch, Hereford.
27 pounds, per person per night.
This is the very English breakfast room. Fresh grapefruit and cherry as a starter.

Fresh Garden tomatoes, locally produced bacon and sausage, garden mushrooms, buttered toast, and fresh farm eggs. In addition to that, we were served cereal, milk, coffee, tea, ginger jam, honey and butter.

Album 3: Tower of London

Pictures taken for the sake of taking them.

Picture taken because everyone was. Kiasu-nye saya =P

The English Yeoman.
The English and the Scots are not that different you know.
They like dressing like a woman, dress, skirts, you name it.

Oh cock!

Good protection for the Big Ol' English cock.

The English are too free.

The subject of this picture is actually the blond guy on the left.
From Pennsylvania, US. Don't ask me how I found out *winkz*
He's very cute , but he looked down. Sigh.
No worries Fluffy, I still prefer Asians ok.

This Saturday, I will be moving to Hereford for my Summer Placement. My new address will be:

41, St. Martins Street, HEREFORD.

I have yet to receive my new SIM card, will update more when I do. By the way, did I mention I will be without internet for 8 weeks during my stay in Hereford?


Sunday, June 22, 2008


This is The Ling, reporting live, and alive, from London, England =)

Touched down undelayed at 3.40 pm, I dragged my 14 hour flattened arse to enter a too-warm-for-my-comfort Heathrow Airport. The first thing that amused me was the segregation system at their immigration. In there you can only be identified with 2 ways: UK/EU passport holder or REST OF THE WORLD PASSPORTS. Obviously, the UK/EU line was shorter, by far! Sure enough, "the rest of the world" is queuing very long for immigration clearance into UK. There were Malaysians, Americans, Chinese, Middle Easterners, etc. Don't know how many planes conspired to land together, just to make my life more miserable.

Just as if that wasn't enough, I had a little hiccup at the immigration. Mates, pay attention here. I was so hoping to get served by the smiley guy, who resembles a slimmer, fitter version of Dr.Wiart. However, it's just my luck that I was called forward by this guy who's looks so stern as if I ran off with his favourite heart shaped boxers. Upon showing him my visa, he interrogated me, not asked me, mind you. Despite my best efforts in coming up with convincing answers and showing him my Unconditional Offer Letter, he still wasn't convinced that I'm didn't come here to just rob him of his boxers. Bloody British B*st*rd (BBB from now on) claims that my offer letter wasn't clear enough stating that I should be studying in the UK. I mean, hello, I was approved for a UK STUDENT VISA for something! Probably gotta get to Dr.Doughty about this. However, after much lengthy persuasion, he stamped my visa.

And then I was sent to the health control unit. All I had to do, was present my medical report and my x-ray. *poof* I was cleared and let loose into the UK border, weeee~~~!

In the airport itself, I saw my first Boots The Chemist, which looks GORGEOUS...! After several days in london, I've only seen Boots though, haven't seen Lloyds or anything around, which is weird. Hmm. Anyway I was chaffeured to my uncle's place by a rented Estate Car. For 57 pounds to East London, this car comes with a driver, and a car capable of 4 humans, 4 large luggages, and 4 smaller ones.

Meet Aziz, the driver who originated from Afghanistan. How cool is that? I get to brag about meeting a live Afghanistani who's not about the bomb my brains into pieces, hehehe. He hates London for its exorbitant prices though.

Me : What's your name?
Aziz : My name is Aziz.
Dad : Oh, Aziz ah...
Aziz : No, it's Aziz, Azizah is for girls!
Me : Note to self, gotta lose the Manglish, pronto!

I think I gained like 2 kgs already. At the rate I'm eating, like a Londoner that is, it won't be long till I gain free membership to The Obese Club. Surprisingly, my stomach has adapted much faster than my brain. No significant jet lag for me, but my brain and body is EXTREMELY CONFUSED. It's cold on the outside, and warm-enough-to-sweat on the inside. Even public toilets have warm water coming out of their taps. It's ridiculous. Plus, the sun rises at about 5.30am, sets at 10 pm. Prolonged brightness disables my sleeping ability.

Happy English Stephen having an English Breakfast, cooked by my uncle.

Have been touring London extensively on foot, so I think I can conquer Broadgate-Queens Medical Centre in 15 minutes! Ahah! By the way, my Reebok has been wonderful to my feet =) And I've also heard Reeboks are what English run around with during winter. Get one.

And I've been to Marks & Spencers.... one word, GORGEOUS!!! I'm so in love with it. Bought my Spring/Autumn duvet 9.0 tog duvet there... Cotton filled, for just over 30 pounds, and Reversible Dual-colour Bedset: duvet cover+bedsheet+pillow case for 15 pounds. And there's more: 2 hollowfibre pillows for 3.80 pounds, plus a compact umbrella for 5 pounds. What a freaking bargain for such a quality product!!! You can forget about bringing your Malaysian blankets and umbrella, it's useless here.

(Tog is the warmth rating of your duvet/blanket)

Summer duvets are 4.5 tog, Spring/Autumn requires 7-9.5 togs, Winter will demand 10-13.5 tog duvets. As you can see, you WILL need a thicker, warmer blanky, even with indoor heating. I chose 9.0 tog because I brought along a compact throw blanket to be used for summer and combined with my duvet for winter, muahahaha, I feel smart. For umbrellas, Malaysian umbrellas will flip the moment it meets UK's cold drafts, and also heavy for your luggage. BUY HERE.

Don't bring shampoos and other toiletries. You can get them from dirt cheap prices, from superstores, except for facial products, cleansers are SUPER EXPENSIVE.

More pictures on my London Adventures next time. To be continued...

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Big Girls Dont Cry

I guess these are times when you really feel like a big girl. Emotionally lah, my tits and my height isn't going anywhere...*grumbles* You know, when you're finally leaving your comfort zone for good. (2 years is counted as "for good" right) To a place where I will be as vulnerable as a newborn, as raw as the oyster at high class japanese buffets (means very raw, duh.)

And no, renting a place in the Malaysia Campus is not counted okay. Because I get to flee the jungle with my laundry back into mommy's arms every weekend, then Caveman Fluffy will drag me away from my luxuries back into the jungle every Sunday. During my days in Semenyih, I was a little girl alright, crying before exams, chased by jungle roaches and all.

I've got my luggages 99% packed, the figure 99% never progresses, because there WILL be something that I forgot to throw into the bag. You know, it's just me, being my absent minded self, which scares me to bits. What if I don't bring enough underwear, or or or forgot to bring my toothbrush? Then I'll just have to reassure myself that no one will notice that I'm not wearing underwear under layers of clothes. And that people won't smell a thing because smelly breath diffuses slowly in cold weather, and their noses will be too frozen too tell. But then again, AngMohs have such BIG NOSTRILS! Sigh, cannot escape already =(

Speaking of luggages, here's an ironic fact. Collectively, my luggages weight much more than I do, by at least 10%. And I just wonder how on earth am I gonna lug them all the way out of the airport. Perhaps it's a good thing after all that MAS didn't grant me extra baggage allowance. I won't be able to carry them all anyway. Though, I still do not approve of their actions! That being said, I'm flying with a promotional ticket costing 1/3 of the normal ticket and STILL demanding my full privileges as a flyer. What a horrible customer I am, heh heh. I am MAS Staff's latest nightmare!!!! *plays scary music on organ*

I will miss a lot, especially:

- everyone who shares my blood (mosquitoes not included)
- Fluffy
- my alternative family: daddy CY, Eugene gor, YinYen jie, Ronny uncle, and other relatives.
- my housemates who are always there for me, the unsmelly ones, mind you.
- all my classmates, current and previous
- my dancing koi fishes
- my queen sized bed that smells like me
- my very own toilet and shower
- using electricity and water at will
- being able to afford shopping
- ASTRO!!!
- and so much more I'm too lazy to list because I need to sleep now.

The only bit of optimism left in me is fueled by my anticipation of a 14 hour plane ride. I love being in the sky. Makes me feel like there are endless possibilities to everything. Cliche much?

It's funny when I think back to 3 years ago. I was so sure that I was gonna study Zoology at The University of Cape Town, South Africa. A century old university with 3 Nobel Prize winners under it's belt. My passion was so strong, I even thought of specializing in Ornithology, the study of birds. Haha, I was naive. Life is never this simple and straight forward. Here I am, flying to UK, for Pharmacy.

Enough of reminiscing. I'm looking forward, and am hoping to make the best out of it. So far Pharmacy has been kind to me. With the latest results release, I'm proud to say that this is my best ever results in univeristy. Good enough to make up for the mess last semester and still score better than my Year 1 average. Who says you need passion to do well now huh? Plain ol' hard work will do.

I will constantly be updating my journey here whenever I can, expect Camwhore 101 with The Ling. Mates, you know you can avoid the little bumps along the way if you pay attention to Ling-o-logy. Now focusing on traveling =)

Monday, June 16, 2008

MAS Euro Fever

Looks like the Euro Fever got into MAS as well.

The pitch....... Bangunan MAS, Jalan Sultan Ismail, Kuala Lumpur.
The players... MAS staff
The ball.......... ME

All I want is to apply for extra baggage allowance, simple enough eh? But apparently it's such a complicated task for MAS to handle, that none of the staff are capable of doing just that. Bummer!

1 800 88 3000 hotline says that I should call the HQ, which phone is NEVER picked up. Once at the ticketing office, I took a number and waited patiently until I was served, only to be told that I'm a student and I need not be waiting here. Hence, I was sent upstairs so that they can serve other non-students. And then, upstairs told me "students don't get extra allowance". Bullshit loh. So I played the "my friend got it" card. Grudgingly, he gave me 2 numbers to call: KLIA check-in counter, and KL Sentral check-in counter.

KL Sentral : You didn't declare yourself as student before you buy you ticket.
I said: I f*king booked it online, what, I'm supposed to tell the computer I'm a student is it?
KL Sentral : I'm sorry I cannot help you.

KLIA: I give you another number.
New Number: No one picked up for the first 5 attempts.
New Number: Maybe you can write a letter to the HQ.
Me: HQ was the one who directed me here!!!

Conclusively, I spent ringgits in calls, petrol and valuable time to become MAS's Euro Football. Kicked about among their staff/players, and then got kicked off the pitch. I didn't even get to the goal! F*king MAS, no wonder your business is dwindling.

I don't know what to tell everyone. I guess, if you're intending to fly MAS, DON'T if you don't wish to pay for excess baggage. If you insist to fly MAS, you can either fly First Class, fly with Enrich membership, or make sure you are promised extra baggage allowance BEFORE you buy.

I hope all the staff that served me today get a 100 times more shitty customer tomorrow. Hopefully one who pukes on them.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

No Air Parody

I present to you, a parody of No Air by American Idol Jordin Sparks, and Chris Brown. Lyrics personally adapted by The Ling for your viewing pleasure. I call it... NO HAIR !

[Jordin Sparks]
If pits should one day suffocate
It's 'cause the hairs grown like hay
Ignoring is like airing your pits with no air...

[Chris Brown]
My hairs are long, don't wanna shave
You don't get how it makes me suave
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

[Jordin Sparks]
But how do you expect me
to leave my pit hairs be
'Cause my pits revolves around being hairless enough to breathe...

It shows when your pits can breathe with no hair
Must shave, must wax till no hair
Feels smooth when your pits have no hair
No hair, for air...

Without hair my pits just smells so clean
Shaving cream even gives it a sheen
If the hair's here pits just can't breathe
No hair, for air...

No hair, hair [ohhh]
For air, air [nooo]
No hair, hair [oh a]
For air, air

[Chris Brown]

I shaved, I plucked, I waxed, I trimmed
And pit hairs comes right off my skin
There's not a hair left to haunt my pits, it GLEAMS...

[Jordin Sparks]
But somehow it's still growing inside
I rid you once, but you survived
I don't know how, but I'll get you, I swear...

But how do you expect me
to leave my pit hairs be
'Cause my pits revolves around being hairless enough to breathe...

It shows when your pits can breathe with no hair
Must shave, must wax till no hair
Feels smooth when your pits have no hair
No hair, for air...

Without hair my pits just smells so clean
Shaving cream even gives it a sheen
If the hair's here pits just can't breathe
No hair, for air...

No hair, hair
For air, air
No hair, hair
For air, air...

I swear it just came to me, I don't go around doing stuff like this on purpose. But seriously, this song is so overplayed that I'm extremely tried of it. A breath of fresh air certainly makes it more refreshing eh?

P/s: Pit hair is armpit hair lah, dodo.

my 15 allergies

Over the last few years, I have developed many allergies that I never thought I had. 15 allergies that cannot be offset with common antihistamines...

1) I'm allergic to bumpy cars, especially jeeps.
Reaction: Nausea, and car sickness. Also triggers Dystychiphobia.

2) I'm allergic to Daniel Lee & Fans.
Reaction: Sudden onset of shivers, and piloerection (raised hair) .

3) I'm allergic to people who stare at my legs.
Reaction: Involuntary movements, i.e: tugging at my shorts, resulting in unintentional flashing of waist.

4) I'm allergic to body odours on public transports.
Reaction: Bronchoconstriction, irreversible with salbutamol (bronchodilator), treatable only by instant removal of allergen.

5) I'm allergic to Live Lala, or as I like to call it, "Seafood"
Reaction: Reversible Eyesore.

6) I'm allergic to fuel price increases.
Reaction: Acute Scrooge-ism.

7) I'm allergic to Anti-Durians.
Reaction: Petit Mal type epilepsy throughout anti-durian confession. Followed by chronic ignorance of fact.

8) I'm allergic to Random-Adders on Facebook/Friendster.
Reaction: Short memory loss of friend request.

9) I'm allergic to people who owe me money.
Reaction: Speech impairment in manner of repetitive debt hinting.

10) I'm allergic to "Your tits are too small" critics.
Reaction: Chronic depression.

12) I'm allergic to rude brats.
Reaction: Acute pyrexia, flushing of the cheeks, and release of violent alter ego.

11) I'm allergic to raw onions/garlics.
Reaction: Temporary smooth muscle relaxation of the tongue with inability to retract into the oral cavity.

12) I'm allergic to sluggish internet connections.
Reaction: Induction of vulgar verbal reflex.

13) I'm allergic Formula Races.
Reaction: Pronounced tachycardia, high blood pressure, and severe anxiety.

14) I'm allergic to results collection.
Reaction: Insomnia, constipation, with palpitations being common response.

15) I'm allergic to public display of dirty undergarments.
Reaction: Onset of headache, loss of conscious temper control.

These are some severe allergies that I've been sufferings. Friends and family, please be kind enough to prevent any contact with the above mentioned allergens when I'm around to avoid undesirable allergic reactions. If symptoms persist, please immediately source for ice-cream.

p/s: I think I'm beginning to be allergic to allergies too... Is that like, Number 16 already?

Monday, June 09, 2008

zhng your vista

ZH'NG YOUR VISTA! : A Beginner's Guide.
(Pros, please don't read this because I feel paiseh to have just found out how.)

A solution for:

- sluggish startups
- high RAM consumption
- computers which take forever to boot or sleep
- frequently hanged computers
- stingy people like me who are unwilling to spend on extra RAM.
- innocents like me who have no choice because new laptops come with Windows Vista only.


Personally, I'm no computer geek, or a student in Computer Science & Information Technology(CSIT). But it doesn't mean I won't appreciate a speedier computer for less moolah! However, I have had trouble tweaking my brand new Windows Vista on my HP Notebook. You see, everyone knows Vista is RAM consuming. Among them, are the brilliant CSIT friends of mine, who have cleverly avoided, and WILL continue to avoid using Vista. They sure can tell me how to save RAM : switch off the visuals, reduce startup programmes. But, that's about as useful as a cow mooing at me. Sadly they can't guide me in detail, because they don't have a Vista for reference. Hence, I'm producing a layman's guide to Zh'ng Your Vista! Dedicated to all the noobies like me out there.

Experimental Data:

All data are true to my own observations, RAM readings taken at the end of startup on a HP Pavilion tx2032 Entertainment Notebook PC with the following specifications.
  • AMD Athlon 64 TK-57 (1.9GHz, 512KB L2 Cache)
  • 2GB DDR2 RAM
  • Nvidia GeForce Go 6150 graphics
  • Hard drive of 160GB
  • Windows Vista Home
  • 802.11a/b/g with Bluetooth
Un-Zh'ng-ed RAM consumption

Step by step Zh'ng-ing:

Reduce startup programs
  • Go to Start >> Start Search at the bottom, Type in: msconfig, click OK.
  • User Account Control (UAC) pops up, click Continue.
  • Select Startup tab, uncheck unwanted programs at startup, i.e: Messenger, LimeWire... Click OK.
  • Restart later.
  • Allow any registry changes if prompted (occurs if Spybot is installed)
Disable visual bling-blings.
  • Go to Start >> Help and Support
  • Search: Performance Tools
  • Select Performance and Maintenance Tools
  • Select Improve Computer Performance
  • Select Adjust Visual Effects from the sidebar
  • User Account Control (UAC) pops up, click Continue.
  • Under the Visual Effects tab, select Custom
  • Uncheck unwanted features. Remember: less ticks, means less memory to run.
  • If you're unsure of what to uncheck, refer below for my options.
  • Click Apply to test the current settings. Click OK when you're satisfied.
Other tips:

My visual configurations aims to retain the Vista appearance, minus some special effects, without looking like Windows 95. I checked the following:
  • Show thumbnails instead of icons
  • Show window contents while dragging
  • Smooth edges of screen fonts
  • Use drop shadows for icon labels on the desktop
  • Use visual styles on windows and buttons
  • Yes that's all I checked. Only 5. And it still looks nice =)
Do not make the same mistake I did, which was having 2 antivirus softwares: Avast and AVG. (You can't blame a girl for being too careful =P) It slowed my computer considerably. In this case, less is more!

Turn off User Account Control (UAC) because it pops up after everything thing I do. Especially recommended if you are the sole user of your computer =)
Start >> Control Panel >> User Accounts and Family y Safety >> Turn UAC on or off

Turn off the gorgeous sidebar on the right side of your desktop, I heard it's RAM consuming. Frankly, I'd rather leave it be, because it's gorgeous and I like it, hehe. I may be stingy with RAM, but have to use some also lah. Since I paid for it already.

And now my laptop takes a grand total of 10 seconds to startup! It's not an Olympics record, but it's significantly faster, good enough for me. Take a look at my new RAM consumption.

AFTER: 35%

That's a whopping 20% decrease in RAM consumption.
Now I'm a happy Vista Noobie =D

**********End of Zh'ng-ing with The Ling**********

Now I wanna promote the FIREFOX DOWNLOAD DAY 2008!!!
My favourite web browser is setting a new WORLD RECORD, and I want to be part of it.
Download Day - English
The Guinness World Record will be "The most software downloaded in 24 hours"!!!
Download the Faster, Safer and Smarter Firefox 3 within 24 hours of release to be part of this wonderful feat! Wouldn't it be cool to be one of the first to have the latest browser? However, the launching date has yet to be released itself -.-"

For more information, and Date Release: click HERE...

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Mall Fire

OMG, I knew this was gonna appear in the papers.

Read it here:
Fifty Motorbikes burnt in mall fire.

I was there. I could smell the weird smoke disturbing my heavenly inhalation of The J.Co. Donuts aroma. And then an exit at B3 was blocked off due to the fire, Fluffy was ushered away from the exit. From the B2 exit, we could see the fire engine, photographers, and about hundred motorists squatting by the road, wondering if their bikes were gonna be next.

What surprised me was, there was no fire alarm bell, no warning, no nothing. Mall go-ers (including many teeny bopper teens who were there for the Seventeen Magazine Summer Splash at the Sunway Surf Beach) were unsuspectingly breathing in all the toxic gases emitted from the burn of 50 motorbikes. Young 16 year old lungs, destroyed by dangerous fumes!!! Are they gonna only warn the poor unsuspecting shoppers about the fire once it spreads to the malls, or even other cars??? Most people won't even know that they're bikes are on fire! (or cars what might cause more fire!)

It's extremely irresponsible for the Sunway Management! Spread the word.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

free organs

I've been wanting to blog about this for a long time. All this while I've been terribly upset that I have failed in all my attempts at blood donation. Over-eating a few days before the donation, filling my belly with water, wearing heavy shoes, stuffing keys into my pocket minutes before being weighed. No matter what I do, I was always rejected for being UNDERWEIGHT... =( Hello, I am a type "O", HIV negative, and have LOW cholesterol! They are denying needy people of high quality blood!!! *cheh, praising my own blood now some more* =P

Finally I have found an alternative where my weight would not hold be back! I'm am now an official ORGAN DONOR, and proud of it! *smug*

Yes, I get an ugly card for my generous offerings. Lol. Just in case anything (CHOI!) happens to me, they can find out my identity and my donor status from my purse =) Then my organs won't go to waste.

Today I'm promoting ORGAN DONATION, A Gift of Life... Be a HERO and save a life today, not at the expense of your time/money/life, because not all of us can afford to do so. And also because not all of us have the intelligence and funds to build a titaniumm gold suit like IRON MAN! Don't let your organs rot with you when you go. Even though it rots in a coffin, the nutrients from your degradation stays in the coffin, and does not even contribution to soil nutrients. How sad is that? You die and you get confined in some coffin. End of story.

How about saving lives? Imagine your organs still surviving past your death, continuing to save lives by chain reaction! You see, a simple act of kindness can go a long way. By saving a life, you can make many family and friends happy. At the same time, you get to reach out to their hearts, inspiring them to promote kindness as you do. One body, multiple organs, save multiple lives.

In addition, its entirely flexible! You can choose which organs you want to donate, which means you don't have to be skinned if you don't wish to donate your skin. If you insist to be buried after your death, you can still donate internal organs, leave the skin alone, and they will throw in complimentary stuffing to stuff you up like Pizza Hut's Stuffed Crust Pizza, so you don't appear as hollow as The Grim Reaper. Nice huh?

Common FAQs extracted from for your reference.

Who can be a donor?

Anyone, young and old can sign up to be a donor. Individuals below 18 years of age will need parental/guardian consent.

What is organ donation?
It is the gift of ones body parts after death for the purpose of transplantation. Transplantation is an operation, which involves the replacement of diseased and defective organs & Tissues with healthy ones from donors. This treatment helps save lives of people. Organ and tissue donation is the ultimate humanitarian act of charity.

What are the organs & tissues that can be donated?
The commonly transported organs are kidneys, heart, liver, lungs and pancreas while the transplantable tissues are eyes, bone, skin and heart valves. Thus a single donor can save the lives of a number of people.

When are the organs & tissues removed?
Only when death has been confirmed by two registered doctors. The doctors involved with certification of death are not involved in the transplant operation at all.

Will my hospital treatment be affected if they know that I am a donor?
Absolutely not. The doctors will undertake every known measure to save your life right till the end. Only when they have exhausted all ways and means to save your lives will the question of organ & tissue donation be discussed with your relatives.

Are there any religious objections?
No. All the major religions of the world -- Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism and Sikhism endorse organ & tissue donation as the ultimate act of charity and benevolence.

How are the organs removed?
The process of organ and tissue donation involves a sterile surgical operation undertaken by a skilled team of surgeons. There is no mutilation or disfiguration of the body. The donor is treated with utmost respect and dignity as in any operation. Following removal of the organs and tissues, the surgical wound will be closed just as in any other operation.

What if I change my mind later?
Organ donation is voluntary and if at any point you decide against donating your organs and tissues, all you have to do is to inform your family about it and return your donor card.

Will the process of organ donation delay the funeral arrangements?
Not at all. Arrangements for funeral can be made as in any case of death. Following the removal of the organs and tissues, the body will be cleaned & draped and returned to the family within the shortest possible time. Removal of organs and tissues does not interfere with the customary funeral or burial including open casket arrangements.

How can I become a donor?
Simply complete a donor pledge form and forward the form to the National Transplant Resource Center. You will receive a registration card from the Center. Please inform your family of your wish to be an organ and tissue donor.

For further information, contact:
The National Transplant Resource Center, Hospital Kuala Lumpur
03-2615-5555 ext 6576 (Hospital KL)
or 03-26942705.

Get your forms HERE!!!

Monday, June 02, 2008

lose weight overnight

Just last weekend, I lost 1 kg overnight. Serious! This is an accidental discovery, just like Viagra, hehehehe... Like most already know, there is no way in hell that I would deliberately do anything that will keep me away from my 45kg goal. By the way, I didn't make it to 45 kgs, weighing in at 40kg according to Hafriz's weighing scale. I think it's broken lah. Hafriz should change it. Bah.

So yeah how did I miraculously lose 1kg of shit overnight? Not fats. Shit. You read right. Still I lost 1 kg, and half an inch off my waistline =( So annoying... Bet the not-so-skinnies must be dying to kill me now. But hey, this would be so useful for those emergency prom night preparations, to fit into that tight little dress, hehe. A shortcut to lose weight and waistline instantly! And healthily.

I was having my usual constipation episodes you see. Like, the amount I shit is not proportional to the amount of stuff I consume. Plus, imagine having spent like an hour in toilet, knowing I have to shit, trying very hard to shit, only to manage only one miserable chunk of shit =( The most unproductive hour of my life. If I could've just shat a chunk more I wouldn't be so upset.

Then Fluffy came to my aid. Boy, he saves me from anything, from horrible back aches to constipation, hehehehe... He fed me this weird herbal tea that tasted very very horrible, and then a packet of Fibro Fruit. Both products that his dad religiously supports. A combination of both the Tea and the Fibre promises to make me shit like never before. I was told that it removes even those that we normally cannot naturally shit out. Yes that means even after you shit, you still have UN-SHAT SHIT.

Sure enough, I had to make an emergency dash to the loo barely 6 hours after I emptied the concoction into my system. It was like a diarrhoea... not exactly, because I didn't have watery stools, just loads and LOADS of stools!!! One sessions, after the other, and the other, and the other... I had half a dozen of shitting sessions, shitting EVERY. SINGLE. THING. I shat so much that the bottom of toilet bowl became obscured by my shit every session. I'm surprised that I didn't clog the sewage system. Oh oh oh, did I mention about the gusts of poisonous farts??? I nearly suffocated myself in that toilet. Who would've thought I was carrying so much useless shit all this while! Waste of my energy...

Everyone knows gases have a large volume, so does 6 sessions of shit. Heh heh heh. Not only did I solve my constipation problems, the bloated-ness was gone, my stomach instantly became flatter, and I think my asshole just became one size bigger =( Dang. That's some serious overnight weight loss that I had to undo. Lotsa fattening work has got to be done now, sigh. Hopefully the next time I don't gain Shit weight, but muscle weight.

Now who else wants to lose weight? I can tell you where to get that tea and fibre *winkz*