Thursday, June 12, 2008

my 15 allergies

Over the last few years, I have developed many allergies that I never thought I had. 15 allergies that cannot be offset with common antihistamines...

1) I'm allergic to bumpy cars, especially jeeps.
Reaction: Nausea, and car sickness. Also triggers Dystychiphobia.

2) I'm allergic to Daniel Lee & Fans.
Reaction: Sudden onset of shivers, and piloerection (raised hair) .

3) I'm allergic to people who stare at my legs.
Reaction: Involuntary movements, i.e: tugging at my shorts, resulting in unintentional flashing of waist.

4) I'm allergic to body odours on public transports.
Reaction: Bronchoconstriction, irreversible with salbutamol (bronchodilator), treatable only by instant removal of allergen.

5) I'm allergic to Live Lala, or as I like to call it, "Seafood"
Reaction: Reversible Eyesore.

6) I'm allergic to fuel price increases.
Reaction: Acute Scrooge-ism.

7) I'm allergic to Anti-Durians.
Reaction: Petit Mal type epilepsy throughout anti-durian confession. Followed by chronic ignorance of fact.

8) I'm allergic to Random-Adders on Facebook/Friendster.
Reaction: Short memory loss of friend request.

9) I'm allergic to people who owe me money.
Reaction: Speech impairment in manner of repetitive debt hinting.

10) I'm allergic to "Your tits are too small" critics.
Reaction: Chronic depression.

12) I'm allergic to rude brats.
Reaction: Acute pyrexia, flushing of the cheeks, and release of violent alter ego.

11) I'm allergic to raw onions/garlics.
Reaction: Temporary smooth muscle relaxation of the tongue with inability to retract into the oral cavity.

12) I'm allergic to sluggish internet connections.
Reaction: Induction of vulgar verbal reflex.

13) I'm allergic Formula Races.
Reaction: Pronounced tachycardia, high blood pressure, and severe anxiety.

14) I'm allergic to results collection.
Reaction: Insomnia, constipation, with palpitations being common response.

15) I'm allergic to public display of dirty undergarments.
Reaction: Onset of headache, loss of conscious temper control.

These are some severe allergies that I've been sufferings. Friends and family, please be kind enough to prevent any contact with the above mentioned allergens when I'm around to avoid undesirable allergic reactions. If symptoms persist, please immediately source for ice-cream.

p/s: I think I'm beginning to be allergic to allergies too... Is that like, Number 16 already?


Falcon said...

haha..I;m also allergic to petrol prices..GOOD POST LOL...

Samuel said...

:D allergy to petrol price.. haha

and allergy to people who owe you money and the small titty comment.. wow :D

LiliaN said... 1 and 15 >.<''' ok wait...those we're exposed to are clean right? *i hope* haha.