Saturday, February 16, 2008

Malacca Day Trip

Alright, this is quite some time ago, sometime at the beginning of our direly anticipated CNY holidays. So frustrated with campus food, this time we were motivated to venture off to a faraway land, in search of authentic Malaysian food. It means somewhere not in KL, KL's Malaysian food is ciplak one. Coloured and flavoured artificially, seasoned with Aji, and packed full of chemicals and preservatives. Eat too much can die one.

First stop: Seremban Beef Noodles!
I thought it tasted odd, don't fancy it much. There's this weird smell that's too strong for my liking. Beef tastes better as steak. How did they make such a heavenly thing taste so unholy? Cows everywhere should stand up and protest! It's a violation of beef usage!
Charges about Rm6/bowl if I'm not mistaken. Daylight robbery I say.

Andrew seems to like it though. Bernard loves it too. Ahh, men. They just don't have tastebuds as sensitive as women's. They'll shove anything edible into their mouths, as long as their tummy is yearning for food.

Chicken Rice Balls!
They have my vote for Best Malaccan Food! Hands down. Whoever starts to argue with me, you're not getting a piece of my future cakes/cookies.

The magnificent Jonker Street. As vintage and classic as I had recalled back when I first landed in Malacca years ago. Current preservation efforts are so good, I felt like I was stepping backwards into the time stream. This is a piece of history, that will last longer than Bill Gates' fortune.

How can a post be complete with a poser picture of me. If Fluffy wants to put hot chicks on his blog, so can I! NAH! A big ass aimless picture of myself.

Our tour guide of the day, Mr. 31 aka Jay Chow aka See Chew. Genuinely Malaccan, yet atypically Malaccan. According to my observations, Malaccan are typically rough on the edges, live overweight seafood (quite la la), and love the pimp their cars into ridiculously shaped, and painfully fluorescent piece of metal. This one, well, is one of the most polite, soft spoken and cool person I've ever met, the aura around him is ala Jay Chow.

Now this is a really cool shop, it has all these really ancient antiques that look as if they've been fished out of the Straits of Malacca. I couldn't help but be amazed and intrigued by such authenticity.

Andrew too busy enjoying his ais kacang which was covered, not drizzled, with a generous portion of THICK, CONCENTRATED, GOOEY, DIABETICALLY SWEET gula melaka. Look at him, so happy to meet gula melaka in Melaka.

I swear this shot of him makes him look so much thinner. Reason? Good photographer. *smug*
They paid him to advertise the menu. Ahem.

I wasn't kidding about the gula melaka. Not suitable for the diabetic, hypertensive, and obese. Unless there's a first aid team on standby.

Weird thing I found on the wall.
Do you know him?
Apparently he's an "impostor", a "fraund" and a "swindler"!
For those who have inside information / sufferer, please contact,
012-2244999, 06-2851999, 06-2824704.

It gave me such a good laugh, I decided to help the poor fella who went through such great lengths, drawing a portrait that looks like every other middle aged chinese man, pasting it on pillars, just to find one person. Well, I shall give him credit for not relying solely on cops. Apparently, they're too busy fining policewomen who dates younger men, who wears tight jeans while off duty, and those who dyed their hair. Why burden the police with a common swindler right?

My name is not Bill, so that mean I can stick on the wall.
p/s: Fluffy made me pose like that.

In one the Malacca's latest mall.
Actually I was looking around to see if anyone would notice if I put my feet into the pond for a free session of fish spa therapy. Teeheehee.
Just kidding.

Stupid piece of staircase. Whoever designed it was a moron. There's a higher chance of a normal human tripping over the stairs, than a handicap on a wheelchair not being able to find a way into the mall. Plus, how can they expect the wheelchair to turn at such an acute angle. Absolutely ridiculous!

Andrew and his nose.

The day didn't end right there. Nope, there was a long, looooong afternoon and evening to follow, which wasn't very nice to blog truthfully about. Here's a simplified version. Determined not to revisit the boring historical sites in Malacca, (honestly, it's boring after so many times), we struggled to find entertainment, with disappointingly futile efforts. Other than food, which didn't take up much time, we ran out of things to do. On a brighter note, I was fortunate enough to meet Nicole, (some will know her as KennySia's pageant / travelling friend) who turned out to be more beautiful than her pictures, and was totally sweet and nice. So support her ya? Other than her, I also met some typical Malaccans. More stories on Fluffy's blog. The one day trip to Malacca was ended with a chorus of WE HATE MALACCA, expressed with confidence in unison!

Next post: National Pharmacy Sports Carnival!
(once I type this, I know there's no turning back. It's a way of forcing my future procrastinator self to write about it.)


Nicocoa said...

awe... you're very sweet as well. with your big puppy eyes OMG.

fluffy.. hahahaha

Bernard Lau said...

andrew the ass sniffer.

Ken said...

swindler looks like tom hanks