Sunday, August 26, 2007

Rats other than Ratatouille

He nearly died to become a chef.

I nearly died watching him dying to become a chef.

And one guy who sat next to Bernard nearly died watching this movie.

Don't get me wrong. Ratatouille is undoubtedly a very pleasant, non-18PG, kids friendly Disney animation. It's definitely not one of those Korean horror movies where characters jump out from the screen to stab you with a kitchen knife either. At least, that's not how we nearly died. Good news is, no one died. Thank Brad Bird for not killing Little Chef. Thank me for not killing the guy next to Bernard. And last but not least, thank the guy for ruining my otherwise perfect movie experience.

Remember the Digi ad right before shows, saying "Thank you for turning your phone into silent mode" ? The one with one of Digi's florescent yellow aliens right next to some Ah Beng looking moron who thinks he's the Tai Kor? If you think that's bad, you have yet to meet the worse. At least now we know that Ah Beng "got a hurt REAL BAD" *Quote Russell Peters* in the end.


Unfortunately for me, it's the open-my-mouth-out-wide-and-laugh-as-loud-as-humanly-possible species of laughter. Bad! Each laugh of his outdid his previous attempts, reaching out to every eardrum in the cinema. I swear I saw people in front looking back to identify the culprit. Generally, he's a Chinese Ah Beng-like dude in his twenties, rather thin, not too tall, with a date. I thought it's an unspoken rule that we all have to be quiet in the cinema? This mighty rude fella just wont stop talking nor laughing. Both of which were performed in higher than normal decibels. Damn! There went my hopes of having a pleasant movie from the middle seat of the last row of couple seats. What's the use of great seats, when you were seated right next to someone as annoying as that guy! I also paid Rm 11.00 for those seats. Why should I tolerate such stupidity? Why should he get away with making people in the cinema miserable?

I considered my options. He got me thinking about what I can do to him half of the time. See how irritating that is, when you can barely concentrate on the beautiful movie that's unveiling in front of you. Some of the time, I couldn't help but noticed that my hands were clenched into a fist in a feeble attempt to suppress my annoyance.

A) Discreetly hint that you're annoyed, like a loud Shhh..!, a "Ahem", or a "Can't hear lah"
B) Politely ask him to be more considerate
C) Ask for a staff to escort him to the exit
D) Have my boyfriend give him a very cold, menacing Mafia Boss look
E) Ignore him as I continue my movie with Hypertension.

I didn't want to cause a scene, he could probably be extremely unreasonable by arguing loudly on the spot. That would possibly destroy other people's movie experience too, which might be worse.

But if I don't try, I will never find out if I saved future movie go-ers from having to put up with his inconsiderate attitude. Hey, even his companion *I hope she's not his gf* seemed unamused, and embarrassed. If I were in her shoes, I'd run far far away that instant and never ever see him again. Oh, there is no way that I can tolerate someone like this.

I thought of an IDEAL Option F: The next time he opened his mouth to laugh, I'd throw in a popcorn of two into his smelly mouth and watch him run off to the toilet as he chokes it out. That had got to bring a few minutes of peace in the cinema. I'm pretty sure it wont kill him, if he's too stupid to choke out a popcorn, there's always the Heimlich Maneuver. I could make him swear never ever to make a noise in a cinema before saving him!

Nyahahahaha, am I an EviL GeniuS or what?

So how exactly do we deal with these people? Which option is the best decision?

No comments: