Depression & Alcohol

It took me a couple of shots to realise how depressed I was.

Sometimes, we need a wake up call every now and then. For me it's become quite a routine, to put on a facade after every wash of my face in the morning. Looking in the mirror, hoping to see a face that is not troubled by the thoughts in my mind.

I get upset easily. I really really do. You think you've seen it, but you really haven't.

Just because, no one really gives a damn if you're upset, and they can only "be nice" for so long. They all want to be around happy people. Why do you think humans invented Antidepressants, and not Antieuphorias?

Unfortunately, this world requires you to have "it". Not got "it" ? Fake "it", or face medication as society forces you to conform with their ridiculously imaginative ideals.

All the itty bitty bits and pieces get bottled up, and the pressure builds. At the same time, the inhibitions get stronger. It only takes some alcohol to start deactivating my inhibitions, liberating my emotions.

And then, it's like the theory of the shaken champagne bottle. Once you release the pressure, it spills out uncontrollably even before you can think of closing it. When all the pressure has been released, everything slows down leaving you a sparkling volume of champagne that sits obediently in the bottle until you decide to pour it out.

I hope the analogy made sense.

Alcohol, as a known depressant, somewhat liberates me. Confusingly contradictory? Me too. For something that some strive to avoid, I now have a newfound respect for it. Of course, there is always the quote:

"Poison is in everything, and no thing is without poison. The dosage makes it either a poison or a remedy. " Paracelsus.

At the moment, I'm just trying to cope with life, one bit at a time.
And hopefully, drinking one sip at a time too.