Tuesday, August 29, 2006

When a beauty marries a beast...

"The Wedding of the Year"...

...Between Malaysia's Malay Pop Darling, Siti Nurhaliza with an old, perverted goon, Datuk Khalid Muhammad Jiwa.

Sorta reminds me about "Beauty and the Beast". The difference is that the beast shall remain a beast forever, and will not turn into Prince Charming. Only God knows without the transformation, will there still be a "happily ever after". I was also reminded of something else. I think I have come across a literary piece from our miserable Secondary School syllabus, about a certain Sultan Muhammad Jiwa who loves eating veggy cooked with blood. Please forgive me if I had recalled wrongly. I had never liked Sastera in the first place, yucks! The groom and the character shared the same name, hehehe!

I stared in awe, watching the live telecast of the Bersanding ceremony on TV3 last night. It would be an understatement if I said it was glitzy and glamourous. An elaborate event, completed with extensive decorations, graced by ROYALTIES, top notch politicians, veteran and popular local AND foreign celebrities, Class-A musicians, award winning producers, leading designers, nosey journalists, last but not least, the more insignificant group, much neglected by the media, family members and "nobody" friends.

Look at this...

This is a DREAM wedding that girls would undoubtly die for. The once in a lifetime chance to feel like a Princess, even if its just for a day. Okay, so maybe it's no longer a once in a lifetime chance with divorce and subsequent marriages being all the rage right now. Still, it doesn't diminish the spirits of future newly weds to create an event as extravagant as possible.

On Siti...
At first, I thought she was out of her mind/ possessed/ threatened into accepting Datuk K's marriage proposal. It took me this long to realise, that she was smarter beyond expectations. Let's do a post mortem to see what's in it for her.

- Cash, money, jewellery, properties, etc. from a loaded hubby! $$KACHING$$
- An extension to her already long name: DATIN Siti Nurhaliza Tarudin
- A dream wedding reception
- A revival of her popularity with the help of excessive publicity
- Free jewelleries, designer gowns and shoes, all sponsored by opportunistic moneymakers.
- becomes a new role model for girls everywhere to go after men for materialistic purposes.

There are more, I can assure you that. These few reasons are more than enough to convince any girl to look past the flaws of her fiance. Even if he's as dreadful looking as this:

He must've been thinking: "Hurry up and get this darned, overpriced ceremony over with. I can't wait to taste that sexy fresh meat tonight."

Why else would he be sulking on his wedding day?

He should be glad he managed to nail a girl like Siti. 20 years his junior, has a stunning silhoutte besides being very popular too. It shall be the envy of all men! No wonder he's willing to divorce his first wife, stuff her mouth full with several title deeds of the properties he now USED to own, and stand not being on good terms with his own flesh and blood. I can only be forced to conclude that this man is disloyal, anciently-aged, greedy, ugly, perverted and very much LOADED.

Dammit, he's supposed to look at the cameras and smile, not having fantasies of his brand new wife by staring at her with a slanted smile. HUMSUP!

She's just happened to be a very popular singer. I still do not understand why she deserved to have guests such as royalties (2 SULTANS okay?) and famed politicians (Deputy PM Najib and ex-PM Mahathir) and other VVVVVIPs to attend her wedding.

On another matter, a chinese daily recently reported that 1/3 of people who are eligible (sounded as if people submitted application for it) to be taxed on their income, did not fulfil their obligations to feed the government's bank account. You should be able to identify the envelope containing information on taxing because it is aptly printed "URUSAN SERI PADUKA BAGINDA". We all know part of the money goes to feeding and clothing our highnesses, The Malay RoyaltieS. And since, people are not paying up, while funds are leaked in forms of wastage and bribery (no need to wonder why people aren't willing to allow their hard earned dough to be given up to the authorities for management in such a manner), its no surprise that they decided to attend the wedding. They get FREE FOOD! (Maybe there isn't enough tax money allocated by the government to feed them the way they deserve to?) All they have to do is show up, to receive the best seats with the most scrumptious meal, presented to them.

Not forgetting all the hype about the event, as well as sponsorships. Allow me to repeat, she is JUST A SINGER getting married. Chances are that we'll see her get married again/ divorced. I don't see Datin Seri Endon Mahmood (for noobs out there, she's our PM, Abdullah's deceased wife) getting as much publicity for so many days, or sponsored designer coffins. Pah! Life ain't fair.

Oh yeah, I'm soooo not buying that love at first sight mumbo jumbo.

Note: I classify this entry as merely baseless assumptions from someone who does not know any better. Interpretations of a similar situation may vary from one to another. Please do not take this seriously, and don't sue me!

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